Thanks for the Words

You're welcome, Aaron-man. But your "thanks for the kind words" instantly put the following in my head. It's a hidden track on one of the David Cross albums. Now, the language is entirely NSFW (that's not safe for work, to those of you over 31), but it's good stuff. I give you, transcribed, the David Cross and Scott Stapp story:

So i was in Las Vegas recently... I was. I played poker with other non-celebrities like myself. Like, when you walk in, you're like, "Did a celebrity fall out? 'Cause somebody asked me to play this game..." And I can say, now I can say, conclusively, Scott Stapp: is an asshole! Hey, here's a funny story that I've only told, like, friends who have asked about it. Here's the thing: I - it's a little brief thing, then I'll get to what I was gonna talk about - and, for those of you who don't know, I played this Celebrity Poker thing that was on Bravo, and one of the people at the table was Scott Stapp who's the lead singer of the third worst band in history. And... here's the thing, though, I knew all the other players except for him 'cause I guess there was a fallout with somebody and he didn't get there til the night before and nobody knew who the other person was gonna be - they weren't keeping it a secret, they just didn't know, and they didn't want to say anything 'til it was confirmed - so i went down there, and I was hung over, everybody was, really super hung over. And I went down there to where we were gonna start shooting this thing, and I found out about it when I was in makeup, and literally had, like, fifteen minutes to go "Oh fuck!" 'Cause I have said the most *vicious* shit about that guy... like, on stage, and in print, and just... you know, there's just so many bands to choose from that are just awful and evil sellout, bullshit, fraudulent, you know, just fucking tenth grade suburban white girl bullshit. I swear to god, that guy hangs out at a fucking junior high school locker room outside the girl's locker room just writing down poetry he overhears, like "what? I will take you higher, okay. Good." Just that simplistic fucking pseudo-spiritual bullshit and, look, anybody who fucking on purpose takes their shirt off and oils themself down... to show you "Hey man, check out my hairy nipples!" So, you know, whatever, there's a myriad of reasons to despise that guy and what he does, but anyways, so I've said these awful things, and so I'm like "oh shit, that's a - that throws me for a loop, that's weird." So I go down to the floor; I have no idea if he knows who I am or any of this stuff, I have no clue. And I go down there and I go, like I'm talking to the other people, and then he's sitting at the table and everybody else is standing so I'm like, alright, well I gotta do this sooner or later. And again, no idea if he knows who I am or anything I've said, and I say, "Hi Scott, I'm David Cross," and he did that thing where... here, stand up for a second, c'm'here... like, go to shake my hand, and he goes, "Yeah... Thanks for the words."

Yeah, well, he knows, he knows. The mystery is answered. "Thanks for the words." Yeah. And then my reaction, which I'm kinda pleased with, I thought of so many things later to say, but I also liked just the honesty of it, was:

"Thanks for the words."

"Yeah, well..."

What are you gonna do? Have you listened to your albums? Listen to your albums while you're looking at a picture of yourself as you're reading an interview of you, and you'll know what I'm talking about. You'll get it, dude, you'll get it, don't worry about it.

That is all. This post is dedicated to Dan and his love of CREED.