Friday, July 31, 2009

NSFW Melody

Don't watch this in your cubicle or anything, as there's some mild sexual content within, but holy awesome BATMAN, and no, incredibly enough, it's not actually Batman, it's Miles Fisher and his thrilling take on Talking Heads' "This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)" in an homage to American Psycho and just wow it's good times, even if you've already seen this as it's been floating around the nets a few days now. (You can go to Youtube and watch it in HD, too, if you're into that kind of thing).


Miss Red: 5-1-1, Summer Women's League Co-champions

Miss Red: Co-Champions Fall League '09

Back Row: Beck, Carly, Genevieve, Allyson, Kuda, Nicole, Emma, Joanne
Front: Cathy, Bonnie, Jenny, Deb

There's no tying in baseball, but when the lights went out at Benedict last night with the score tied 11-11, there wasn't a whole lot we could do about it. So the season ended with a tied championship, which makes all variants of the Nyet-Genevieve VOTS combo 1-1-1 in Finals games, and I suppose we'll take it.

The count went 0-1, 1-1, 1-2, 2-2, 3-2, 3-3, 3-4, 3-5, 4-5, 4-6, 5-6, 6-6, 7-6, 7-7, 8-7, 8-8, 8-9, 9-9, 10-9, 10-10, 11-10, 11-11. So pretty tight and back and forth the whole night. Really sloppy, though - just a ton of turns, crazy errant throws, slop hucks up for grabs, etc. An ugly game in which Miss Red's general MO was the deep game and Desert Divas was the work-it-up, handler up the line cuts game. Both sides responded (to some degree) with the appropriate defenses, so the game dragged on a long while.

Beck was great, and I continue to be proud of my wife. Just great D and several possession cuts, including a sweet one-handed snag. Only one turn I can think of, and that was because her dumps had abandoned her and she had to jam a throw in on stall 9. Great game, and as I mentioned this morning, she's now been in the finals of every league in which she's played. I hope she doesn't get spoiled. :)

For whatever reason, i don't entirely feel like giving this the full write-up treatment. It was kinda an ugly game, to be perfectly honest, and a lot of the scores (to these biased eyes, especially from the other team) were lucky swill. Kuda played like a rockstar, natch. Allyson got a little bit of the case of too-athletics - I have an operating theory that when you're super athletic and fast, you get used to getting open realyl easily, and it puts a damper on your cutting technique, such that when you run into a good defernded, suddenly you can't do much of anything. So something for the A-child to work on. Genevieve was *this close* to several D's, so a layout or two here or there could have made the difference... ah, well. Miss Red really just wasn't clicking quite as well as usual last night, and granted, part of that is due to the tougher defense. I continue to look for the progress of Phoenix Ultimate, though, and so I get a little frustrated at / disappointed in the sloppy play.

Regardless of the performance in / outcome of the last game, it was indeed a fun season, and I'm glad Beck got to play in this league. Big thanks to Joanne, too, for the tasty cookies, of which I have already partaken far too much. Hopefully this weekend in Colorado of competitive disc will take a little of the Fat off of Fat Nyet.

The Official Justin D. Rally Song

You say/I only hear what I want to/You say/I talk so all the time/So/And I thought what I felt was simple/and I thought that I don't belong/and now that I am leaving/now I know that I did something wrong/'cause I missed you/Yeah yeah/I missed you/And you say/I only hear what I want to/I don't listen hard/don't pay attention/to the distance that you're running/to anyone/ anywhere/I/don't understand if you really care/I'm only hearing negative/no, no, no/So I/ turned the radio on/I turned the radio up/and this woman was singing my song/lover's in love and the other's run away/lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay/Some of us hover/when we weep for the other/who was dying since the day they were born/Well/well/ this is not that I think that I'm throwing/ but I'm thrown/And I thought I'd live forever/but now I'm not so sure/You try to tell me that I'm clever/but that won't take me anyhow/or anywhere/with you/You said that I was naive/and I thought that I was strong/I thought, "Hey, I can leave, I can leave,"/oh/but now I know that I was wrong/'cause I missed you/Yeah/I miss you/You said, "I caught you 'cause I want you/and one day I'll let you go."/You try to give away a keeper/or keep me 'cause you know you're just/scared to lose/And you say/"Stay"/And you say/I only hear what I want to.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I'm Late on This, But Still...

The world really, really needs more of this overt acknowledgment of absurdity:


Album Review: Abattoir Blues


Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Abattoir Blues (2004)

A couple of disclaimers: I am no Nick Cave aficionado; I've just seen him pop up on numerous best-of lists and so I decided to give some of his more lauded work a try. He has throaty baritone voice and a lyric-centric emphatic following, two factors that can sometimes serve to scare me off: they can be an indication that an artist's' grandness lies in his ability to overcome vocal lackings via the merit of his poetry, and my response to that - my Dylan leanings aside* - is generally that if I wanted poetry, I'd read poetry. So I was frightened going in, but on this album, his vocals are employed in a sort of preacher-fire mode that is nicely balanced by backup vocals and a roaring rock band. It works really well. Disclaimer two: Abattoir Blues is actually the first half of a double album (the other disc is called The Lyre of Orpheus), and maybe if I were more of a Cave disciple I would insist on reviewing the albums as a set. But there's a dramatic split between the two (to my ears), the albums employed, among other dissimilarities, separate drummers, and they have two different titles. It's more of a Use Your Illusion I & II kind of double album, or maybe a Speakerboxxx/The Love Below split, than, say, a Melon Collie & the Infinite Sadness double disc affair. So I'm going to take them on separately.

* - This is a long-standing attitude of mine, that lyrical content is decidedly secondary to the "music," and I guess I sort of fall into a Michael Stipe camp where the vocals are more of an additional instrument than a deliverer of wisdom. If anything, a bad or trite or otherwise awkward lyric has more potential to wreck an otherwise fine song than it does to enhance it. This, of course, is entirely inconsistent with my love of all things Bob, he of the poetic lyrics and (usually) nasally, grating voice. All I can guess is that Dylan's lyrical attitude is so upfront that it to some degree penetrates everything about the music, so even relatively plain guitar strumming reflects off it, does not just serve as a sort of background bassline for the spoken word. And, of course, a lot of Dylan tunes are highly crafted and backed by fantastic studio musicians. I do suspect, though, that I'm often just really lazy, and since I spend so much of my time analyzing written words that I try to take music as a respite from engaging my linguistic lobes. There's an obvious Phish-connection here, too, as their lyrics are often non-sensical word salad. Anyways, the times in which I do pay close attention do tend to enhance the experience, so per usual, it seems I know nothing. Still, if some singer annoys me and the instrumentation is just background to their profundity, I'm not going to be inspired by "But the lyrics..." type arguments.

Abattoir Blues is, no doubt about it, a ROCK album, and I gather that this is not Cave's typical vein. It's also raunchy blues and, one can't help but notice, a sort of snarling, secular gospel album. The "gospel" is obvious, not in a Elvis Presley gospel album way, but in a "hey, there is a gospel choir belting big, anthemic choruses" way. This could have been U2 kinds of cheesy, but as mentioned, the balance with Cave's lead vocals is fantastic. The vibe of the disc - and much of the lyrical content - gives off the impression a hipster godless sermoner, one seeking God in nature and love but unwilling to drop the sneer for any sanctioned dose of religion. These grandiose songs are balanced by balladeer blues numbers and dirty blues shuffles, making for a thoroughly even album that is liquid-dripping beautiful, even if no songs jump out as "this is the catchy single." There are prominent drums (that's an understatement), ringing pedal-pressed pianos, whirling leads, dirty distorted and super-crisp, clean guitars to accompany the vocals, and I can't emphasize enough that the balance is excellent, giving a top to bottom bounce experience between crowd-riling and spooky contemplation.

Though arguably single-less, this album features a ton of highlights. The opener, "Get Ready For Love," wastes no time in invoking (JSBE?) tent-revival mania, and it's a great example of an album "raining down" on the listener. "Cannibal's Hymn" alternates between backroom blues and a ballad-waltz. Both "Hiding All Away" and "There She Goes, My Beautiful World" spotlight the powerful effects of a preacher/gospel choir verse/chorus dialogue, with uplifting choruses that are so catchy as to possibly be over-infectious. "Messiah Ward" closes what would be Side A with a long, lovely and eerie mid-tempo number, and "Abattoir Blues" slows things down with a sparse, minimalist affair featuring a big bass drum and whole note piano chords.

"Nature Boy" gets its own paragraph, because it's one of these songs that doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. It seems entirely ordinary, but there's something about they way it rolls along with driving verses interspersed by laid back, glowing choruses that is just plain inspiring. I don't know enough about song-writing or music theory to understand how something that sounds like such a typical pop song can be so lovely. It's a superb centerpiece, even though on some level I know it's just an execution of something that should sound formulaic. I don't get it, but I love it, and it stands as a symbol of the album: a straight-forward rock piece that is better than the "gospel-rock with standard instrumentation" makes it sound.

The album closes with more earthly fare: "Let the Bells Ring," a non-transcendental (though still plenty pleasant) acoustic driven pop-rocker, and "Fable of the Brown Ape," something - in its spoken word over slow bass alternating with gospel-rock freak outs - that is much more what I expected from what I've heard about Nick Cave. Both are solid, and "Brown Ape" even brings the album to something of an appropriate weird fade out close to the album, but they are definitely a tick below the rest of the disc. Overall, a very impressive album with a great unified theme and sound. (And this review doesn't emphasize them, but keep an ear out for the nice lyrical quips: "woke up this morning / with a frappacino in my hand" should, if nothing else, get some images of the New Jersey Turnpike running through your head). If Nick Cave, with or without the Bad Seeds, has a lot of discs like this in his canon, I am excited to being taking steps towards fandom.

Status: Recommended
Nyet's Fave: "Nature Boy"

ADDENDUM: I made (maybe) the mistake of recommending this album to Aaron, who responded that he "wasn't digging it" or "it wasn't him" or something to that effect after listening to clips on iTunes. So that either speaks to my old man adult-contemporary leanings, Aaron's lack of them, or the fact that because this doesn't have a whole lot of insta-hook to it, you might want to give this one a couple of spins before giving up on it. My favorite, "Nature Boy," in particular, fully implanted itself on about the third run through. (But seriously, if your heart doesn't get pumped at the opening fire and brimstone track, then you should probably get your motherboard replaced and go back to chasing John Connor) (jackass). :)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

These are the Pros & Cons of Phish-hiking

I'm taking a study break, and I desperately need your help. No, not really. I don't really need your help, not in a mouth to mouth, stimulus package kinda way. I just have a bit of a decision of which I think I know the proper choice, but I'd like to put it out in front of my eyes and get some input from the two of you that read this.

It boils down to this: Phish is playing a festival ("Festival 8") in Indio, California, a scant 3 hour and forty-five minute drive from my house. It's over the weekend of October 30th-November 1, which means that includes a Halloween Show, a musical costume, a little schtick they've done four times before where in the middle of the show they cover another band's seminal album in its entirety. Past choices have been The Beatles' White Album, Velvet Underground's Loaded, The Who's Quadrophenia, and Talking Heads' Remain in Light (and in a surprise move on Nov. 2, 1998, they played Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon). All Phish shows are to some extent unique, but this is both a festival, which tends to bring out some of the best of them, AND a Halloween Show, which is guaranteed to be special. I mean, it's not 1994 anymore, but this is a pretty sweet PHISH EVENT, and it's happening (effectively) in my backyard.

So what's the problem? Well, your lovin' give me a thrill, but it don't pay for no Festival 8 ticket. It's $200 (!!) plus taxes plus handling fees and whatever else, plus parking fees, plus driving to Indio, plus hotels, plus festival food prices, etc. I don't want to even line-item approximate what the total bill would run, but 400-500 dollars isn't out of the question. That's a ton of cash for a relatively frivolous venture (insert "in these trying economic times"), I'm not exactly raking in dough with my philo-lifestyle, and I'm already spending some money this weekend to go to Colorado Cup in Boulder. Phish may be fun, but not working until I'm 147 years old may be funner.

BUT, some of the Tuftsmen are making the trip. So this would be a sweet chance to not just see historic Phish, but also to hang out with the likes of Zach, Ian, Josh, maybe Elliot. Plus we could share hotel rooms / driving costs and such, so maybe that would defray a little bit of the cost.

BUT, it's a Phish festival. Indio is just off of I-10, which makes this venue a little more accessible than past venues which have had a tendency to be in the middle of nowhere and as a result of two lane country roads, featured many-hour traffic jams. There's no real telling how bad it will be, but that four hour drive could conceivably turn in to a sixteen hour one, both on the way in and the way out. Plus, the whole hectic experience of a Phish concert can be very trying on the nerves. I can only imagine that a festival would be magnified greatly in that respect, and I've often found myself at concerts just looking forward to hearing the recording of the show at which I'm sitting. I can maybe foresee myself feeling trapped in Indio once there in a sea of annoying festivalness.

BUT, this is easily my favorite band, and I haven't seen them in five years (well, no one had before March, but still). I don't really go to concerts very often (at all), and it might be good to get away from the school scene toward the end of October, just for a break. And it would certainly be an over-the-top memory / fun times, and you would get some pretty serious blogging out of it.

I've been to seven Phish shows in my life (9.25.99, 7.06.00, 7.14.00, 7.15.00, 2.26.03, 8.10.04, 8.11.04) plus one Trey show (6.14.02), and they've all been a ton of fun / musically incredible (though I fully admit my feelings of "ugh, crowds" and "I can't wait to get home to hear the recording of this live experience"). I've got a lot of live show recordings, too; in short, there's always something a little absurd about going to see them one more time. But this would be pretty huge...

My answer right now, though, is no. I just don't think I can pay that much at this juncture, as much fun as it would be. I think that's the smart, self-denying move. It's not like this festival is going to religiously change my life; I've pretty much got the Phish experience embedded in my soul already. So, sadly, no go. But here's your opportunity to convince me I'm wrong or applaud my fiscally conservative/afraid of traffic tendencies. Keep in mind that irrespective of my decision, I'll be dropping money on the recordings of the Halloween show.

COMMENT AWAY!!!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Album Review: The B-52's

The B-52's - The B-52's (1979)

Coming from the post-punk sci-fi kitsch party bin, it's The B-52's eponymous debut. It's a collection of catchy weirdness with sparse beats, angular guitars, space-keyboards, and a weird paranoid / campy lead singer whose odd vocals are perfectly matched by the caterwauling backup singers. This is way more stripped down than the "Love Shack" single for which they're wedding-famous, but it's every bit as infectious and dance-worthy. The opening track is a stellar, invigorating Peter Gunn riff-off that invokes black and white B-movie credits. It definitely sets a mood of the other-worldly, and the rest of the album follows through aptly. Spy-show themes, surf guitars, and oh those vocals, all instantiated in overwhelmingly memorable hooks and toe-tap inspiration.

This album is routinely listed amongst the top alternative albums "of all time," and this is largely due to the neat pulled-trick of mixing general pop-sensibility with enough of the off-kilter to make it gripping. I.e., it hits a great middle of being groundedly out there, so you can feel simultaneously cool for embracing your inner weirdo and dancing along with the masses to a backbeat. It's another one where if you find the vocal tics annoying you may not be able to handle it, but I for one dig it - you're probably familiar with the timbre of "you see a faded sign at the side of the road," but trust that it's even more idiosyncratic on this disc. It's also mired in some weird associations for me - I can't hear it without getting a nice Patti Smith / Sleater Kinney blend in my mind. "Hero Worship" in particular makes me find the entire Sleater Kinney oeuvre to be somewhat lifted, though that band obviously has a lot more severity and edge to their message/music.

Side A of the disc is absolutely bang up; the opener "Planet Claire" is excellent, and "52 Girls" and "Dance This Mess Around" establish all of the aforementioned dance-sensibilities with flair. Next comes "Rock Lobster," probably the "real" B-52's signature tune, and it's just seven kinds of wacko greatness (think spies, beaches, and, um, lobsters). Side B is very solid but a clear drop-off; the aforementioned "Hero Worship" is the definite highlight of the back half, but unfortunately this otherwise great disc closes with a bit of a throwaway in "Downtown." All told, of course, this is a seminal album that crosses a ton of genres, simultaneously embodying that late '70s CBGB vibe and a retro call to all things beehive. Seminal, great, if not necessarily desert-island-worthy.

Status: Recommended
Nyet's Fave: "Planet Claire"

Album Review: Abacab*

* - No, you haven't figured out the algorithm yet. It's not "albums in alpha-order," I promise.


Genesis - Abacab (1981)

An interesting piece of work, this is Genesis breaking from (to some degree) their 70s prog rock tradition and getting poppy, a path that would lead them to the almost new wave world of "Invisible Touch" and "Tonight, Tonight, Tonight" and all their other mega-hits that the casual fans (Nyet most definitely included) are familiar with. Well, poppy in the sense that a seven minute opener driven by thundering drums and a distorted synth (the title track) and a 7:30 suite in the middle with ovewrought reverb laser beam effects are poppy. But the album also has bright horns, borderline reggae beats, some brain-entrenching melodies and a few overt singles, so the transition from the orchestral brain-music of the seventies - while still obviously in the hearts of the band - to radio-friendliness was definitely on.

I'm not really a Genesis fan, and I think they are one of those bands (like a lot of prog bands, come to think of it - Rush, Yes, Dream Theater, etc.) that you either really, really get into or you don't. I got this album from a doctor I worked for named Dave, and he was a capital-GF Genesis Fan, and according to him this one was a life-changer. I'm not really feeling that - part of the problem is that I don't care terribly for Phil Collins's voice, which can be kind of a deal-breaker for me. Still, I appreciate the "art" of their art music, and after giving it several listens, the grandiose nature settled in my consciousness.

The sound of that album is just BIG - Bonham drums, Van Halen "Jump" synths (HA! Three years early, apparently), even the minimalist ballad has a sort of arena sound about it. And Collins matches it with his vocals - you can just see him clenching his fist and closing his eyes as he belts out some of the more dramatic lines. That might grate on you a bit - it does for me - but if you can get past that, the album features some good bombast and enough memorable melodies / nice synthy textures to make it worthwhile. Highlights: the energetic title track, the poppy as it gets "No Reply At All," and the oddly mesmerizing "Man on the Corner."

Status: Recommended (solid)
Nyet's Fave: "Abacab"

Posthumous changes



The Clarion Content's Pop Culture editor has not yet read Ernest Hemingway's, A Moveable Feast, though ironically a painter we know had just been encouraging us to do so. The book was first published in 1964. It is a memoir of the times Hemingway spent in Paris in the 1920s, eating, drinking and living. He was part of a group of well known American expatriate writers. Among the prominent people who make an appearance in the book are Aleister Crowley, Ezra Pound, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ford Madox Ford, Hilaire Belloc, Pascin, John Dos Passos, James Joyce and Gertrude Stein.

Now, according to Hemingway's good friend A.E. Hotchner writing in the New York Times, Scribner's publishing has conspired with Hemingway's grandson to create a sanitized, bastardized, disnified version of the book. Hotchner says in a Times opinion piece,
"The grandson has removed several sections of the book’s final chapter and replaced them with other writing of Hemingway’s that the grandson feels paints his grandma in a more sympathetic light. Ten other chapters that roused the grandson’s displeasure have been relegated to an appendix...[apparently] he doesn’t like what the original said about his grandmother, Hemingway’s second wife."

Hotchner, an author and playwright himself, strenuously objects to the new truncated version and Scribner's willingness to conspire in such deceptive editing. As he so eloquently puts it,
"I am concerned by Scribner’s involvement in this “restored edition.” With this reworking as a precedent, what will Scribner do, for instance, if a descendant of F. Scott Fitzgerald demands the removal of the chapter in A Moveable Feast about the size of Fitzgerald’s penis, or if Ford Madox Ford’s grandson wants to delete references to his ancestor’s body odor.

All publishers, Scribner included, are guardians of the books that authors entrust to them. Someone who inherits an author’s copyright is not entitled to amend his work."

The Clarion Content heartily agrees. It was bad enough to authorize a sequel to Gone with the Wind long after Margaret Mitchell and worse yet to speculate on how Dune would have ended when Frank Herbert died in the middle of the series, but to change something that was patently published as non-fiction is far worse. Scribner should be ashamed!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Not Quite: I Have a Glandular Problem

The 48 hour athleticon came to a grinding halt at about 7:45 last night. After four hours of morning hot and humid frisbee and another 3.5 hours of hotter and still humid frisbee, my various body parts went on strike. I wasn't tired, actually, I was just cramping in all of my leg muscles. Seriously. At the end of a grueling day, if I haven't gotten enough electrolytes and water, I'll start getting a little cramping in my calves. But this was nothing like just that - I had slammed gatorade twos* all day, eaten several clif bars and granola bars, drunk a gallon and a half of water, and between the double header I had loaded up on calories and fluids, but it just didn't matter. I was just entirely depleted, and in the end of just the second game of the hat tournament, EVERYTHING started cramping - the worst was when I lunged down for a forehand and my freaking iliacus (or something in there - one of my hip flexors) gave that little flutter flutter cramp. I was in pretty bad shape, and if you've ever been in this state, you know that it's not done when you stop playing; when everything's cramping, taking off your socks is an exquisite torture.

* - Seriously, drinking too many gatorade twos and then continuing to drink them while feeling utterly nauseated has left me with a nice little Pavlovian association. Keep that sickly sweet stuff away from me for the next few days, please.

Before the body meltdown, the tourney had gone okay. Our team just lacked cutters, really, and though we did a fairly good job of taking advantage of some of our women matchups (we had Hayden, Angel, Lexi, Sarah and Carly, so a pretty good female set), we just spent a lot of time alternating throws between Russ and me (or Paul and me - we rarely had all three of us on the field simultaneously, usually having a lot of brand newbies as our cutters - not good). In the first game, i had a couple of fun showdowns with Big Nate - I poached off from fifty yards away to try and run down a huck to him, but just as I started to lay out for the D, he stepped (or rather slammed) into position to make the catch and sent me flying. Ayee! I got him back later, though, beating him deep for a score, so the Nate/Nyetverse is still in balance. The rest of the game - actually screw it, both games - are not worth accounting for, as we had a pretty fair amount of fun despite playing terribly. I had a whopping two turnover throws on the day (and got eaten alive by a lazy forehand that got wind-gusted - pretty much had a disc headed for my face that hit me in the thigh because of the wind. Awesome). One was a hammer that would have been fine except that it slipped out of my sweaty-as-hell hand and ended up being a hospitable pass between our young guy and two defenders. Hayden, natch, gave me a lecture on high percentage throws and Carly chimed in with her own moronic commentary. I let them both (and especially Carly) have it a little bit and feel mildly bad about it, but seriously guys, that was a nice entry in this week's "define irony" contest. I will try to take the high road and not offer return commentary on the numerous floaty crap hucks I see this week (and have seen all season). Ugh.

But that (other than the cramping, yikes) was the only negative part of the tourney, otherwise had a good time and cracked a lot of jokes with everybody. Lots of other highlights: Paul D'ed Genevieve (and much heckling did ensue); Kevin hatch beat his son deep; Skunk called 1,2, stall on me as a joke; etc. Fun times. Back to the cramping - I hobbled my way back to the car after our second game, and used my salt depravity as an excuse to get way too much Wendy's. French fries and such hit the spot, but didn't get it done - I came home, sat on the couch and proceeded to watch my calves wriggle like they had worms beneath the skin for the next hour as I continued to pour water and gatorade into myself. Beck came back from Mojo (where everybody knows her name...) and nursed me back to consciousness with some more drinks and beef jerky, and I crashed to sleep around 11...

...And then we got up at 5:30 to get ready to go hiking. WHAT??!?!? Yes, I had committed to going to Prescott with D&C&Beck for a hike, so I fought through my condition to get ready for a drive and hike. Like I told Dan, it was like having a hangover with none of the benefits of having been drunk the night before. But I pressed through - a little Smacdonalds en route helped with my continuing negative salt balance, and we made it all the way to Prescott (elevation 7,000 feet!) for a fun hike. Only the one Beck has found on the internet had a big sign in front of its entrance: DO NOT ENTER! FIRE HAZARD! "That's just for amateurs," Dan said as he rolled us through anwyays. And lo, there was not just a fire hazard, but a real life controlled forest fire, complete with firefighters who probably thought we were some of the bigger idiots on earth. We backtracked and found another hilly trail and went for a mediumish 5.7 mile hike that included about 1000 feet of up and down. I give myself kudos for pressing through - my hamstrings just felt trashed, so climbing was tough - but we had a good time hanging out and enjoying mid 70s weather.

We stopped by Christina's Garage (Catholic Girls?) in Prescott on the way back and grabbed lunch at the Prescott Brewery. The little town was having some sort of festival that necessitated its citizens to dress in chaps and shoot guns a lot; some kind of family fun "historical" event I suppose, but it gave the town a wacky vibe. Food was very good - D,C and I got burgers and Beck got a ridiculo-plate of nachos, and we all got our salt back on track. Good stuff, and we were recharged for the rest of the drive back to Phoenix (which of course ended up taking way longer than it should have. I love 17). We got back at 5 and all I wanted to do was fall in the pool and lie on the couch: no ultimate or pool-partying for me, sorry to all I've offended.

So a valiant effort if a failure at the 48 hours of athletic activity. I have a glandular problem: I sweat WAY too much. It's bad, and it seems that at least in these extreme conditions, it's more than I can accommodate. The high was 109 yesterday and it was a bit more humid than normal, and this equated to me losing who knows how much sweat - given the amount of liquid I consumed, I honestly don't think twenty five pounds of sweat yesterday is too outlandish of an estimate. Gross. I might have to beg off these summer hat tournaments in the future; it's just a bit too much (though really, I think the softball friday night may have been the straw that broke). I'll stick to the more human 105 degree practices from here on out.

Seasonal Migration



Probably, dear readers, you have heard of the huge yearly biker rally in Sturgis, South Dakota. This is after all the 69th annual rally, and it has drawn much media interest recently. Attendance in some years has been estimated as high as 500,000 people. Have you ever considered how the bikers get there? The answer is of course, they ride.

This annual migration impacts, among other things, the economies of many small towns along the way. Consider the case of Carlton, Minnesota, population 810 as of the 2000 Census. It is at the intersection of Minnesota State Highways 45 and 210. According to the Minneapolis Star Tribune, "Cops have been bracing for months. Business people are crossing their fingers." They quote a local bar owner, "It's good news, I'm excited that they're coming and look forward to seeing them." Tim Rogentine owns the Lost Isle Bar on Hwy. 210 in Carlton.

The Star-Tribune reports, "His establishment will be closed for a private function from Wednesday to Sunday." When they asked him to confirm that the Hells Angels had rented out his bar, Mr. Rogentine said: "Um, I can't say. I've signed a contract that says I can't give any interviews."

Good times. The Carlton County Sheriff, Kelly Lake, has only nineteen field officers in her Sheriff's department.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Another 48 Hours... of EXTREME ATHLETICISM

Starting at 8 on Friday night and running til 8 or so on Sunday, I'm going to be all athleticking, all the time. Double header of softball last night, Sprawl scrimmage this morning, Hat tournament this afternoon, hiking in Prescott tomorrow... and lotsa lotsa water and calories inbetween.

Softball went great last night - just a really, really fun time. it was Jason's first game back since his shoulder surgery, and he was throwing (the big concern) just fine, hitting and running well, too. We were playing Beer Goggles, No Drama's arch nemesis of sorts, and we managed to split the double header. We lost the first game on a walk-off hit (and I flew out with the bases loaded and two outs at one point - my only non-hit of the evening, and it came a bad time), and won on a walk-off hit in the second game. Tres exciting, not to mention pretty rare for two walk-offs in a double header to come from opposite teams. I went 6-7 on the night with 3 doubles, AND I sprayed the ball all over the field, one down the third base line, two in the hole, one up the middle, and two to right center. I also scored from first on a grounder to the third baseman, so that was fun. In the second game, we went into the bottom of the 6th down 6-3 and came back to win - I had the honor of scoring the fifth run AND pinch/courtesy running for Brock and scoring the tying run on an error by the third baseman (that would have ended the game - OUCH). Ed doubled down the line to bring in Jason from 2nd, and that was all she wrote - seriously, I had a ton of fun last night; really enjoy this team.

Of course, I got home at 11:00 and was far too wired to sleep. Beck stayed up with me and we watched the thrilling conclusion to Independence Day, an epically BAD MOVIE. Not just because it's terrible, but the scene where Goldblum et al explain what a computer virus is ranks up there with the all time expository dialogue violations - it takes approximately 0.012 seconds to realize that they're going to use a computer virus to disable the aliens' shields, but that doesn't stom them from spending the next 45 seconds riffing on variations of "SO you're going to use a virus... to shut down their shields? Yes, I'm going to use a computer virus to shut down their shields, permitting us to shoot their ships, now that their shields are down because of the computer virus." UGH. Stayed up way too late watching that, knocked off a few more pages of YOU KNOW WHAT, and finally got to bed around 1.

Which is significant because I woke up at 5:30 to eat and get ready for our 7 AM Sprawl practice this morning. It was more of a scrimmage plus some situational scrimmaging, and we hopefully got a lot of great work done in the humid oven that is phoenix today. ("Humid" may or may not mean 17% humidity. It's relative). I had a good day with no turns and a couple of nice layout grabs, one a LEFTY grab for a score, which hasn't happened in forever (at least in Ultimate - the lefty grabs are a lot more common in softball).

Well, I should say I had a good morning, because after of 4 hours of practice, I'm headed back out into the heat for a VOTS hat tourney at Benedict Park. Wish me luck / non-death!

Miss Red: 5-1

Beck and her team Miss Red* just finished their regular season in the VOTS Summer Women's League with a 5-1 record and a +26 point differential. They've made the finals, but their opponent is the 4-1-1 Desert Divas** with whom they split the regular season series. Should be very exciting. I've been minorly involved as a sort of coach*** which has been fun, and hopefully I've been able to pass off a little of the 15 years of frisbee knowledge I've acquired. Beck is having a good time and enjoying it a bit more than the co-ed league which can get a little guy-centric at (most) times. She's making great cuts and catches, playing great D and hitting some big throws - very fun to see her in action!

* - Their jerseys are red, and this is additionallu a stellar team name due to its punning on "Misread" and the fact that it's not one of the multitude of moronic "disc" of "flick" or "huck"-based puns that dominate team names. It's also, though, the name of the Rice University Women's Ultimate Team, so we are infringing upon a sort of trademark and being terribly unoriginal. But it's well worth it. This, of course, pales to maybe my favorite women's team name, Lady Godiva, the Boston juggernaut.

** - Another blase team name to go along with "Chick Flick" and "Bedazzled." Chick Flick is doubly bad for being a typical "flick" joke AND having been recycled from last year. Sheesh.

*** - I'm gonna go ahead and call out the other coaches here - Tricky, Vince and ??? were also asked to coach the other teams, and they have done a lackluster job, to put it nicely. We're talking barely paying attention, drinking beers through the course of the game, generally not taking it seriously. To be frank: Phoenix women's Ultimate is bad (relatively speaking). There's a paucity of leadership and good club players, and the few that there are have a tendency to play with the co-ed team from Tucson. So the quality of play here is low, and it's hard/frustrating to watch/coach when there are going to be drops and throwaways and bad plays and people running around like they don't know what's going on. But guess what? - it's never going to get better if we don't treat it seriously. This is a little bit of soapbox action from me, but whatever, the level of play aggravates me and the lack of will to even attempt to corect it offends me. So there ya have it; I'm not saying I've done a good job at coaching, but I have stayed invested in games, helped strategy-wise and pulled girls aside to give them specific comments for things to work on, and I don't see any of that happening on the other teams. End rant.

The team is a fun mix of vets and newbies (and we actually have quite a few vets; I'm not entirely sure how she did it, but Joanne grabbed some ringers in the draft). Here's a player by player breakdown; I'll take a camera to the finals so you can get some faces, too:

Joanne - The Captain, she of the recently torn ACL at our coed- competitive scrimmage and wife of long-time VOTS president Keith. Great handler, super kind person, and I just feel terrible that she's in for the long ACL reconstruction recovery.

April - brand new player, runs very hard and is passionately angry when she misses the disc. We ran a play specifically for her in her first game and she got to catch a disc and throw a score; very fun, and since then she is getting open and catching just fine.

Carly - one of our ringers of sorts, Carly's in for the summer from out of town and played college disc for a year or so at (I think) Cornell. She's tall, runs hard and has some pretty strong throws, though she's still getting the good decision / bad decision dichotomy down.

Cathy - this is Tyler's (from my first VOTS team Taco Technique) wife, a very enthusiastic new player who is super eager to learn the game after years of watching Tyler (and taking care of their twins) from the sideline. Really, really nice and getting into it; she started the season with little to no idea of what was going on and now is making catches for 20 yard gains. Yeah!

Bonnie - experienced Phoenix area player who is real agreesive to the disc and has great hands. Her attendance has been spotty; hopefully we'll have her in two next week.

Allyson - this is Allyson from The Mark of Zorro, and she's only been playing for 10 months but is showing all kinds of signs of being a superstar. Hucks, layouts, jumping for scores, you name it. I've been trying to help her polish her game a bit this season, because she clearly has the athleticism and the aggression; now to put in the fine touches and she'll be an even stronger force.

Deb - she's an older handler with big hucks. Hasn't made it to every game, but when she's been here she's put it deep to our wealth of targets. She also plays for No Drama's (my friday night softball team) arch nemesis Beer Goggles, but we won't hold that against her (she's a great softball player).

Emma - young, college-aged player who has been playing on her university team for a year now. Another aggressive, good runner with good hands; she made a ton of catches deep in the most recent game.

Jenny - Emma's mom, a completely new player who wanted to get to know the sport her daughter was talking so much about. Another really enthusiastic, eager-to-learn player who is making big progress this season.

Beck - she's the bestest, of course. Really figuring out how to cut and make big catches (one-handed LEFTY this week!) - I'm really proud to see her out there.

Kristin aka Kuda - a handler (from Tucson maybe?) who is just straight up money. Good in all facets, make good decisions... really glad she's in the Phoenix area now and on Miss Red.

Genevieve - my awesome co-captain. She's leaving in a few weeks, which makes everyone terribly sad... needless to say, she's a money receiver / defender for the Red, and I thoroughly enjoy heckling her for being late to warm-ups.

Nicole - fast, tall, athletic player who has made some of the best grabs I've seen from women. Not quite steady on her throws just yet, but she is an A-1 receiver who leaps for the disc - tres inspiring.

Irina - mid level player again who runs extraordinarily hard - my biggest memory of her this season will forver be her sprinting through a D and blocking the disc with her face! Yikes. Again, really nice and super eager to improve her game.

So there ya have it. It's a very fun team, a very NICE team - seriously, looking over that it's remarkable how many I would just describe as sweet and overwhelmingly pleasant - and I'm very glad that Joanne invited me to be even a small part of it. Wish them luck in the finals!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Album Review: A.M.*

* - Note: I'm getting on this album review train, and I'm not getting off until I finish them all or I die. Ladies and gents, place your bets. Anyways, I'm starting off utilizing some algorithm (you'll never figure it out) which involves the first letters of albums, so perhaps unsurprisingly, you get Wilco's A.M. first. You also get an album that I don't have any kind of huge emotional attachment to / investment in, so this is kinda the prototype of what I'd call a short review. I'm also trying to standardize these things a little, so I'm going to make some kind of recommendation at the end and note which song made it onto my illustrious "Nyet's Faves" list. Anyways, here's a short review of an alphabetically first album. Enjoy, or don't.


Wilco - A.M. (1995)

This is Wilco, alt/indie/experimental (kinda) band supreme, still mired in its alt-country Uncle Tupelo roots. That's not a bad thing, as they have pretty much mastered that hipster country-rock sound, and on A.M. manage to subvert a whole lot of poor man's music cliches with wry wit and real-sentimet-laden melodies. So it's good, but something about it (especially vis a vis their other albums) feels like a bit of a novelty album. It also suffers a little bit from a front-heavy structure, meaning that there are some very good songs up front that progressively fade into some rather mundane, country-rock formulaic songs. All good, to be sure, but after the first half of the album or so there's not a lot to write home about. Highlights: the rollicking drawled "I Must Be High," the bar room rocker "Casino Queen," the trod-upon ballad "Pick Up the Change," and the electric finger-picker "That's Not the Issue."

Status: Recommended (solid)*
Nyet's Fave: "Pick Up the Change"

* - Just to clarify the stati: we're gonna go with the scale of Not Recommended, Recommended (solid), Recommended, and Desert Island Recommended. That'll (hopefully) keep me from driving myself insane over whether a certain album gets a 70 or a 75. So this album is not one that makes me think "hey, that's a great album!" or "really good album," but if pressed, sure, I would say it's good.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Peaches & Herb

Back in sun-scorched Phoenix after a long weekend spent in beautiful (70 degree!) Rochester, NY, at the iPReunion. It was not an uneventful weekend.

Got up very early (3:45, yikes) Friday morning to make our early flight. Flew United and it felt so (un)good; got charged 20 dollars to check a bag and received no gratis food en route. Boo. We did get to spend two hours in layover in Chicago, where I was exposed to two memorable too-loud-on-the-cellphone conversations (Topic 1, a woman who broke her pelvis doing pregnant yoga; Topic 2; man on vacation whose clients were being stolen while he was away from work. JUICY). I left my academia at home for the trip (which probably means I am a big fat slacker), opting to bring several issues of Philosophy Now and Believer to help weigh down my carry-on. Beck survived the flights using the usual combo of novels and B-movies. The rides were pretty smooth, all things considered, and definitely several notches above both "3 AM drop out of the sky" (featured in our last flight to NYC) and "Windowless Seats," a particularly harrowing experience we had on the way back from Virginia last year.

Arrived at iPChateau to the pleasant churgle-gurgling of a clogged kitchen sink. Seems someone had undertaken the performance art piece entitled "Aged Asparagus: Down the Disposal?" earlier that day, and the pipes were none too pleased. Zil stopped by a little later; we caught up on her hopping softball and soccer and lake-hanging-out and Wilco-concert-going lifestyle. While the iPJ toiled at the clog with 200 gallons of DranO, Beck and I headed to the airport to pick up fresh-from-Amsterdam Meghan and Greg. But you know what the funniest thing about America is? It's the little differences. I mean, we got the same customs and homeland security that they got there, but here... here it's just a little different. Example? Sure. Seems that Greg (REDACTED BY AGENT 53921).

(Woah. How downright Orwellian. Suffice it to say that if you happen to share the same name and birthday as an international criminal, you haven't shaved recently and you are somewhat olive-complected, then you are in for some FUN TIMES at JFK Int'l Airport. The most amazing thing of the whole tale is that (REDACTED BY AGENT 53921) and they still made their connection for the flight to Rochester).

Oh, but FUN TIMES were not over yet... sure, you can get your bags across the ocean and through customs, but can you get them from NYC to Rochester? Uh, no. Meghan's bag successfully made it through customs, but it didn't make it from the Jetblue baghandler's hands to the Jetblue airplane. So I addition to getting (REDACTED BY AGENT 53921) at JFK, Meghan and Greg got to spend an hour filling out forms for lost baggage that contained all of Meghan's clothes AND a stash of Dutch liquor. Argh! Beck and I enjoyed this debacle from the comfort of the cell phone lot, where we got quite familiar with Rochester's radio stations.

We finally made it back to the homestead where the pipes were still clogged (but a real-life, after 6 pm on a Friday plumber was on the way). Sat down to a delicious iPDinner and enjoyed the company while the plumber used some kind of medieval mechanical death snake to scrape the innards of the house and unclog the drain. Game on for the reunion! We headed to bed.

Saturday, woke up and got things loosely in order for the throngs of Isaac's (no, not that Isaac; that's Margie's family) descendants. They descended upon the house from 1:30-2:00, including Robbie who *brought his soccer work* with him, a big faux pas. I helped out his diligent lineup setting by adding to the roster names like Billy Scoresalot, Joe Keepsemout and Tommy AllHands. I am not confident that he noticed. We had chips and snacks and cheeses and you name it to drink; quite the festive affair. It would b ridiculous for me to even attempt to remember all of the people who arrived, but it was a healthy showing of all but a few of the 478 living relatives of the iPJ.

The kids were in effect: Ethan, Mike and Kathy's son, is now four and has a little sister named Madeleine. He seemed to have a great time, doing no less than playing in a fort and a ship, falling and getting his clothes dirty, cheering at his own pictures in the slideshow, stumbling into a patch of wasps (no stings!), laughing at all jokes understood or not, and playing with a disposable camera with which he nabbed this shot of me:

Maybe next year we'll work on "framing" or "centering the subject." The big tale, of course, was the interaction I had with Alec and Ian and their cousins Elyssa and Savannah. I recorded this story for posterity in the Official Reunion Log (TM), but the gist is that Alec and Ian were tyrannically and sexistly playing some game of cops where their goal was to arrest and imprison the girls. I could not let this stand, so I helped the girls escape AND prevented their pursuit by Alec, at which time he screamed:

You're a traitor to boys everywhere!

Needless to say I was terribly frightened, as there really are boys EVERYWHERE and I couldn't even think of a boy country with a no-extradition policy. I was in big trouble, and am currently running a mirror under my car before I drive to school. Frightening stuff.

Fantastic, fun reunion with great eating, a great slide show / genealogical presentation, and, as you can see from my pic above, another great shirt. After the last non-nuclear iP-er cleared the house, we settled into a stupor in the living room, eventually watching the single episode of Caprica that was, I'd say, pretty good.

Got up early the next morning to see Greg and Meghan off, who's next worldwide whirlwind adventure takes them to Boston. Who knows what crazy antics they'll get into (oh, and Meghan got her bag back, btw, before the reunion festivities got going. So she had clothes AND we got to enjoy some gin-like Dutchness. Claps!)? I went for a run up Cobb's Hill, and between the frigid 65 degree air and the hills - we don't have those round here in AZ* - I struggled a litle though made it okay. Cleaned up and headed to a very crowded diner for brunch with everybody who was still in town, which meant, among other things, that poor Annie had an entire restaurant sing her happy birthday. Beck spent the early afternoon visiting a high school friend and her new twins; I read the hours away and watched a Cubs game (They may have even won, as I recall). We all got back and performed the ancient Sunday afternoon iP-rite, which means that we read on our various media, ate some chips and hot dogs, and otherwise lounged the weekend away. Very fun times; we had to get way up the next morning exceedingly early (5:15 aka 2:15 PHX time, yech) to make our flight, and the iParents were nice enough to get up and take us to the airport.

So another year, another reunion. I even obliquely met Skeeter for the first time. Out of control! All in all, the reunion was lovely as always, and as usual, I heard the hot dogs were quite excellent.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Drinking and dementia



Sots everywhere rejoice! A new study conducted by Wake Forest University and presented at the International Conference on Alzheimer's Disease found that moderate drinkers have a 37% lower risk of dementia amongst those who were cognitively normal at the start of the study.

Drink more, think more, is not quite the conclusion though. The study also found that if you are over the age of seventy-five and still consuming more than 14 drinks a week you are at twice the normal risk of developing dementia.

The BBC reports that, "lead researcher Dr. Kaycee Sink said: "There are several possible ways in which moderate drinking might be associated with reduced risk of dementia.

"One is the same as the way we think moderate alcohol reduces the risk of heart disease, by beneficial effects on HDL cholesterol and blocking platelets.

"Additionally, animal studies have shown that low amounts of alcohol stimulate the release of acetylcholine, a chemical in the brain that is important in memory."

Read the whole story here.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince – wiped your tears away hey muggle!

harry potter dan pangeran berdarah campuran

Sutradara :David Yates
Prodser : David Heyman, David Barron
Penulis Naskah : Steve Kloves
Novel: J. K. Rowling
Pemain : Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Jim Broadbent, Alan Rickman, Tom Felton, Helen McCrory

Saya lupa kapan terakhir kali membaca buku Harry Potter untuk edisi ini. Kalau tidak salah ingat minjam punyanya Memey. Harry Potter dan Pangeran Berdarah Campuran. Sebuah buku yang menjadi titik klimaks menurut saya. Semua perjalanan Harry di Hogwarts akan mengalami banyak hal tidak disangka dan mengantarkan kisahnya untuk ”the final duel” antara Harry Potter dan Voldemort di buku ketujuh.

Kapan terakhir saya nonton Harry Potter? Ini pertanyaan yang tidak bisa saya jawab juga. Karena saya adalah orang yang tidak suka menyaksikan buku yang difilmkan. Apalagi untuk buku sekelas Harry Potter. Kenapa? Hey! Saya pemimpi! Saya sudah memiliki semua gambaran dari buku-buku tersebut di kepala saya. Tanpa ada orang yang harus menganggunya dengan image punya dia. Jadi saya adalah orang terakhir yang menonton film Harry Potter mulai dari edisi pertama. Itupun nontonnya di televisi!

Lantas apa yang menyebabkan saya menonton film ini di hari pertama penayangannya? Dimana semua kabar dari beberapa kota bahwa antrian Potter mencapai 1 kilometer? Ada Umbridge yang memaksa saya nonton. Daripada kena kutukan AdavraKedavra. Baiklah saya ikut!

Kalau dari sisi cerita mungkin semua orang sudah tahu bagaimana kisah Harry dalam buku keenam ini. Siapa itu sebenarnya Pangeran Berdarah Campuran, bagaimana nasib keluarga Weasley selanjutnya, siapa saja yang tersisa dari Orde Phoenix, bagaimana hubungan Harry dan Ginny, ataupun kisah keluarga Malfoy. Ehm, kecuali kau muggle tentu saja. Menurut saya? Film keenam ini hanya setengah saja menggambarkan bukunya. Ada beberapa peristiwa penting yang sudah tercover dengan baik oleh sang sutradara. Adegan ramuan cinta, kisah Harry dan Pensieve milik Dumbledore, sampai adegan mereka di danau beserta para Inferi. Yang menjadi masalah adalah para muggle yang nonton! Sudah pernah baca belum sih? Kok tidak ngerti Luna itu siapa! Puff!!!

Dari deretan cast yang membintangi, siapa yang bisa menghilangkan image Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint sebagai Harry, Ron, dan Hermione? Jajaran cast yang kuat bisa menggambarkan alur cerita yang dibangun sejak awal. Saya pun salut dengan Malfoy! Letupan emosi yang ditampilkannya begitu bagus, sesuai dengan image yang ingin digambarkan.

Apa yang menjadi masalah saya? Hmm, film ini seharusnya sedih. Film ini seharusnya bisa membuat dada saya membuncah. Apalagi ketika adegan Dumbledore meninggal. Tapi ramuan Liquid Love rasanya terlalu membanjiri film ini dari awal sampai akhir. Roman percintaan yang ditonjolkan lebih banyak. Harry cinta ini, Ron dengan itu, Hermione dengan ini, Ginny dengan siapa, capek! Disini saya kurang merasakan bagaimana kesedihan Harry dan Hogwarts akan perginya salah satu penyihir terhebat. Bagaimana Harry memutuskan untuk mencari Hocrux sendirian, juga bagaimana jajaran kementrian, Orde Phoenix, menerima kematian Dumbledore. Plus satu lagi yang missing adalah ”Pangeran Berdarah Campuran” yang menjadi tagline nya tidak dijabarkan dengan jelas. Mengapa sampai ada julukan ini, dan kenapa Snape berperan penting untuk buku ketujuh. Maaf, pesannya tidak sampai!

Saya juga lumayan kecewa dengan visual efek dalam film ini. Terlalu standar! Mengingat saya baru saja menonton Harry Potter seri keempat di televisi beberapa hari yang lalu, dimana Lapangan Quidditch, Danau dan Hogwarts di visualisasikan dengan begitu indahnya. Oke, tarian api milik Bellatrix dan Dumbledore memang keren, tapi selebihnya tidak ada yang istimewa dari segi visual. Apalagi mengingat dalam film ini lebih berpusat pada cerita Harry dan Dumbledore, dan adegan duel tongkat sihir jarang terjadi.

Overall, silahkan menonton film ini kalau ada sudah termasuk taraf Potterholic seperti Umbridge yang memaksa saya ikut nonton, plus silahkan membaca (atau minimal nonton) dulu seri pertama sampai kelima Harry Potter. Kalau tidak ada akan keteteran dan terengah-engah selama mengikuti film ini. Bagi yang belum membaca bukunya akan bingung dengan alur ceritanya (terbukti dengan beberapa Muggle di belakang saya yang hanya bisa mengeluh selama film berlangsung karena tidak mengeratahui esensi filmnya). Saya hanya membayangkan bagaimana perasaan orang mengantri sepanjang 1 kilometer itu yah? Karena bagi saya, film ini kurang pantas mendapat apresiasi sebesar itu. Selamat pagi semuanya!

Trailer Film Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince

I'm Told the Eventual Downfall...

Caught this on NPR recently, and I must say that Neko Case is one charming lady (with a beautiful voice, taboot!). If you're unfamiliar with her solo work or The New Pornographers, well 1, you suck, and 2, get thee to a Waterloo Records.

Good news from the Ultimate front: we worked on zone D Tuesday (primarily the trap), and despite handling all practice AND handling a lot on the trapped side AND breaking the zone with breakmarks, scoobers and hammers, I had a whopping zero turnovers. WAHOO! That's even morer like it. Small victories, even if the D was griping that my upside down throws would not have worked in windier conditions. Fie on that sound, I say.

Went on a run this morning - ankles are still bugging me, so I stopped at the 2.5 mile mark when I had originally intended to go 3 to 3.3. Baby steps, though - this would be the rare instance of me exercising prudence w/r/t my running program. Beck is so proud. I took it a little slower than the other day because I was running early in the morning (I am a stiff-jointed old man), but I still managed a 19:15 or so pace, which is roughly 7:48 miles. Close enough for funk.

Finished the last bit of Re-Engineering Philosophy for Limited Beings and conquered quite a few articles yesterday. REPfLB, for a Phil of Sci book, was surprisingly accessible, which either means that I didn't get it or that I'm getting familiar enough with the terms / concepts / authors that I'm not getting as bogged down as I have been. Progress, or something easily mistaken for it. I refuse to believe that it had anything to do with the clarity of the writing, as there was an entire section on level organization and three dimensional system complexity graphs that... well, just trust that you understand exactly as much as I do about it from that one sentence description. Or not so much fail to understand as fail to see the point of. I think there's a middle ground that people are aiming for - don't want to be analytic, codified-in-logic-equation philosophy types, don't want to be Continental obscurantists - that they are not quite getting, and as a consequence you get dumbed down unanalytic generalized accounts that don't say much. That's not a knock on Wimsack, nor does it characterize the book fairly; I'm just noticing that the failures of both ends of the phil-writing spectrum are hard to eliminate when trying to write in some middle-grounded, useful and accessible way. We'll all press on, okay, alright already we'll all press on.

Busy day ahead - meeting w/ Jason, more reading, frisbee tonight (women's league is back on, though without team captain Joanne, who indeed suffered a torn ACL - poor lady), packing and then a seriously early departure for Rachacha and another iPReunion, the first I've managed to attend in a few years. Looking forward to it. And now, to work...

(Oh, and this has been on my radar for quite a while now... but I am starting to catch an idea that maybe I should do it, if just to break the string of philo books. It'll be a "read from the nightstand only type of thing. I'm three or four weeks behind, but I can catch that pretty quickly, I suspect. I'll keep you updated).

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

New Ocean Current path



Research led by oceanographers at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI) and Duke University have added to the complicated model of the North Atlantic Ocean currents. This new evaluation may have substantial impact on scientists' understanding of climate change.

Using field observations and computer models, their study shows that much of the southward flow of cold water from the Labrador Sea moves not along the deep western boundary current, but along a previously unknown path in the interior of the North Atlantic.

The study by Amy Bower, a senior scientist in the WHOI Department of Physical Oceanography, and Susan Lozier, a professor of physical oceanography at Duke University's Nicholas School of the Environment, was published in the May 14 issue of the research journal Nature.

The bearing this study has on climate change analysis is as follows according to Dr. Lozier, "This finding means it is going to be more difficult to measure climate signals in the deep ocean. We thought we could just measure them in the Deep Western Boundary Current, but we really can't." The cold southward-flowing water is thought to influence and perhaps moderate human-caused climate change.

Read more here at Terra Daily.com.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

How to put out a grease fire

This excellent video came our way from a New York City reader. It is a very dramatic demonstration of how to deal with and how not deal with a grease fire. Do NOT throw water on a grease fire ever, it will explode. The water, being heavier than oil, sinks to the bottom where it instantly becomes superheated. The explosive force of the steam blows the burning oil up and out. Also, do not throw sugar or flour on a grease fire. One cup of either creates the explosive force of two sticks of dynamite.

Let Us Now Praise Awesome Dinosaurs

A morning of dog-walking, a day of work (more reading - not quite done w/ RPfLB), a night of Ultimate... but it would all be for naught had I not read this:

Let Us Now Praise Awesome Dinosaurs by Leonard Richardson

Enjoy.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Study Break / Broken

I haven't done anything resembling long distance running since I sprained my right ankle in a hat tournament over a month ago - but sitting inside / coffee / sodas gave me a severe case of the antsies, so at 5:40 (and 113 degrees) I ran 2.5 miles around my neighborhood - and made it back at 5:58. Booyeah! I mean, that's not really fast or anything, but 7:15 or so miles after a month off: I'll take it.

Should We Talk About the Government?

Hi Hi ... Hi Hi.

Just took the dogs for a walk at 6 in the morning... and it's only 91 degrees. I couldn't bring myself to go to pickup yesterday, my elbow was still sore (feels better today, thanksforasking) and the computothermometer read 117 (!!) at 5:00. I seriously doubt we would have had more than 6 people there anyways, and to drive 20+ miles to play box and die of heat exhaustion is just... well, let's just say you're welcome mother earth.

The plan for today, written here to hold me to it - do some serious damage on Wimsatt's Re-Engineering Philosophy for Limited Beings: Piecewise Approximations to Reality. It's general claim is that reductionism introduces biases into our thinking and that we need to reconceive our understanding of the world as being a heuristic enterprise, not one that pins down TRUTH; i.e., every method of learning about the world is going to have built in strengths and weaknesses, biases and focuses that give you a limited glimpse. Interesting and promising so far; hopefully by the end of the day I'll have conquered it.

Beck and I finished season 2 of Burn Notice last night, a glitzy, Miami-boobed-up spy version of MacGyver, which sits entirely in the "entertaining" portion of the entertainment spectrum. There are funny, cool characters, a reasonable over-arching plot, and plenty of action and bad-assness, but we'd be the first to admit that it's a ridiculous, dumb show. Ah, well; we finished Season 4.0 of Battlestar Galactica and are just waiting for the final season 4.5 to come out; in the meantime, I think we are entitled to our goofy pleasures. Plus, the characters, while somewhat static and one dimensional, are FUNNY, and you can't pass up listening to Ash* crack wise on a nightly basis. We missed finishing season 2 in time to catch the first ep of season 3 on Hulu, so we may be forced to buy an ep or two if we're too impatient to wait for the DVDs...

* - Shop Smart - S-Mart.

Got froyo (I am so hip, yo) with D & C and D's parents on Friday - good times, but by far the craziest news of the night was that D's parents unexpectedly put an offer on a house right around the corner from all of us. Dan's ability to not crack Everybody Loves Raymond jokes in this circumstance impressed. I don't think they'll be coming down for a few years, but when the reality show starts filming in 2012, remember that the seeds were laid here.

Alright, work-time. Here goes. YEAH!

Lomba : Internet Sehat Untuk Keluarga

Tadi saya sempat ngobrol dengan Kak Eda, katanya untuk bulan ini promo Delta n friends bakal membahas mengenai blog! yah, bagaimana kaitan antara blog dan pendidikan di keluarga.


Kalau ingin ikut, ini dia persyaratannya.

Judul : Internet Sehat untuk keluarga
- Pengalaman menarik di internet
- Ajakan menjauhi Narkoba
- Ajakan mengurangi Global Warming

Yang di Nilai
-Orisinalitas Blog
-Kreativitas/keunikan memiliki konsep Edutainment
-Bahasa penulisan Blog : Komunikatif, enak dibaca dengan alur cerita mudah dimengerti
-Value/ nilai manfaat dan content blog
-Keputusan dewan juri tidak dapat diganggu gugat
Pendaftaran :
- 10 Juli s/d 30 Juli

Pengumuman Pemenang
1 Agustus 2009, 17.00 Wita, Telkom Cyber Centre

informasi : 0411- 420999, 0411- 421510, 081342066238

What is your dream car?

Yeah, I perceive this is the average of 2009. Some of my resolution is already done. From work, friends, family. Sometimes the resolution is not traveling well. At diminutive I try my best. And plan my plan one by one.

There’s one plan that I just can imagine. I ambition my dream car. A lamborghini. Why I declared is just a dream? It’s not simple to get it, even plan for 20 years. Maybe I can get it, with a jackpot from coffer maybe. Or maybe I can use the 2010 mercedes benz for my next resolutions? Well, about it just a plan. I still remember how's my father always told me that a guy must have their own car. With their own money. Why was that important? Because when you decide to have your own car, it means you already know about the oil, the engine, how to fix you car when it's broken.

One alternative that you can buy is a hybrid car. Why? This is the next big thing in the world. Because the global warming is became more dangerous. Nowadays in each country we can see all the government says we must reduce the pollution. I Have read the hybrid car review, and it sounds good. You can use it as your daily car without worry about the pollution.

So how about your dream car? Is it just to be dream? Just wake up and chasing that dream!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Overreaction



This story is from the you can't touch this files. As in, you can't make this stuff up!

Dateline Torrington, Connecticut, a teenager hears her Mom screaming through the bedroom door. Apparently she does not listen closely to the screams, and assumes her mother is being assaulted. She rushes off to round up four of her friends. They grab a baseball bat, throw open the door, and proceed to beat the snot out of the mother's boyfriend, a twenty-five year old named, Roger Swanson. Turns out Mom wasn't screaming because they were fighting, it was an "f" word, but not fighting. However, the incensed teens did not give Swanson time to state his case.

He was sent to the hospital with a black eye among other minor injuries. The woman's daughter, whose name is not being released, along with two other seventeen year-old locals and a nineteen year-old friend, were arrested and charged with assault and conspiracy by Torrington police.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

More Like It, But Not Completely Like It

(Be warned: this is way more detail than you want. But I'm trying to catalog some of today's scrimmage so I can think about things to work on).

Played a double header plus OT set of Ultimate games this morning, starting at 7 AM (and 93 degrees) and ending a little after 11 (and roughly 105), which my team won 10-13, 13-11, 3-2. Another free lunch for Nyet, even though there is no such thing. That's 3-0 for me in this up-and-coming adventure series, and I'll definitely take it.

In this game, Dark: Nyet, Garret, Russ, Ebay, Volo, Jeremy, Craig (had to leave early), Pat (ditto), Keith, and Tom "Mr. Wobblesworth*"

* - Tom is new(ish) and still has an occasionally wobbly forehand. So this nickname is a bit of an insult, but still it is in the grand scheme of Ultimate nicknames an excellent one. Once he gets rid of his forehand wobble - and he will - he's just going to be known as Tom Wobblesworth, it's not going to make any sense, and this just continues to make me laugh for perhaps unjustifiable reasons.

White: BP, Justin D, Dixon, Brent (left early-ish), Cory, Jose, Josiah, Cisco, and Paul (and Craig, actually, for the first half of the first game).

So what started as 10 on 9 dwindled to 8 on 8 by the end of the contest. One-sub frisbee in 100+ degree conditions = super.

Highlights: a guy named Garret came to play, a former Carleton guy and general Ultimate badass. He's been taking some time off to run some semi-pro triathlons (!!), and even though he was "out of Ultimate shape," he guarded Justin D all day long. EGADS! Good to have another elite player in the Phoenix Ultimate scene; hope he can help make some noise with Sprawl. He was on my team today and played a big part in pushing us (just barely - you'll note the point diff was dead even) over the top.

Clearly, Justin D showed up for the first time in a while, and dude continues to be incredibly fast. A definite force on the field, not just for his own one on one defense / offense, but you have to account for his killer range in considerations of hucks. I got burned on that today, unfortunately. Aside from all of that, good to just have him around; he's a good guy who is mired in his new vocation of Architecture School, and they are keeping him tres busy. One of the lowlights - he was guarding me late in the second game (what a waste of his D, ha), and was so close to me that when I threw a head/shoulders fake, the back of my head hit the front of his orbital / eyeball. Ouch - for both of us, but "Trigger" took the worst of it. He was okay in the end, but if he gets some serious Dali-ism going on in his architecture projects for the rest of the week, now you know why. Additional lowlight, for me anyways - I ended up one on one on J in the middle of the field, and Bryan just chucked a forehand to him when he wasn't even cutting. J beat me to the disc by 20 yards. That's worse than headbutt ouch. What can I do; guy is hella fast, up there with the quickest I've seen on the field. A good Sprawl asset.

BP played for the other side and made a ton of key Ds. Impressive dude, though he did turf a couple of hucks in the OT session - uncaptainesque, in both the Sprawl and Morgan fashions. Still, he's a tremendous pain to cover / be covered by; I got the better of him a little towards the end of the day, but damn if he didn't close and layout and make me say yowsers. Out loud. I said it.

Speaking of, I had a bounceback day - not as good as I would have liked, but hucks were a lot more on. I had two overthrows of Jeremy which I refuse to take responsibility for; both were imminently catchable. I had one too-high one to EBay (in the OT session - I, too, was uncaptainesque) that BP D'ed; I had a big flick that slipped out of my hand and got eaten up by Paul/Justin, and I had a big high toss (intentional) to Pat that he misread (boo). Other than those, though, times were good - three completed hucks to Jeremy, one to Volo, one to Russ, one to Ebay. So if I credit myself the missed shots to Jeremy (and I should) and give a half-credit for Pat's, that's a 8.5 for 11, a lot better than Tuesday but still not good enough - gotta get those long bombs crisp and out there in front for people.

The only other badness I had on the throwing side was missing EBay on swing passes - we talked about it, and I'm just expecting him to come back behind parallel to the disc (so his next throw has an advantage on his trailing mark), but he sort of stopped cutting / more came at me. Two miscommunications for two turnovers, and both of them I put the throw exactly where I wanted. Ugh. But fixable.

Got my deep (cutting) game on a little bit - Dixon in particular was marking me hard in (and giving me some trouble - he is also very quick on dump cuts and the like, and it's tricky to get open on him), so I tried to use his overaggression to get some open shots deep. And I did - beat him for big hucks from Keith, Ebay, and Garret, the middle one a layout and all for scores. Huzzah! Also took BP deep a couple of times, notably twice in the OT session (though the first he put a crazy bid on and actually tipped, and the second was the result of a late switch call). The not so good - went deep on Paul, huck went up and hung. I successfully baited him into jumping too early, but then when I tried to scramble for the disc, my legs just gave out - I think I got out of balance, but it made me feel a lot like a stumbling fool. Oh, well.

On the D side, I've already mentioned that Justin made my top speed D defense look like standing still. That was embarrassing. And I had a pretty tough time covering the like of the other speedsters (BP, Dixon) - I feel like I have no chance on thos guys sometimes. Ugh. I have noticed that I keep poaching off to prevent easy scores (i.e., Cisco cutting hard up the line) only to give up easy scores in other places (BP gets the disc in the middle of the field with no mark and JD in a one on one in the endzone). So I either gotta develop some faith in my teammates or choose more wisely. Did have a handblock on the goalline on Dixon's wraparound backhand, but also gave up an easy breakmark flick for a score to Jose with my tired legs. Yeah, I got noticeably tired for the first time in a while today, but that was probably due to playing more or less savage (I didn't really take a sub for the last 20-or-so points of the day) in 100+ weather, so all of this running was probably more good for me than anything else. Still, all of this said, I spent more time chasing guys around the field today than I would like, and I gotta get my D-legs back under me. Always a tough balance of getting in shape / not injuring myself, but needs to be done.

Oh, injuring myself - besides the headbutt, Craig fouled one of my backhand hucks by accidentally chopping my arm above the elbow. This pretty much decelerated my humerus instantly but left my forearm going 100 mph or whatever. I probably hyperextended it slightly, so it's sore though not really hurt - still, not the most pleasant way to get fouled, and I might take tomorrow off to rest it up. This happened in the first half of the first game, so no worries, everything's in its place, just a little more bruised than before.

And that's the account of a hard day in the sun! We enjoyed our free pizza at Keith's house afterwards; good times chillin gin the backyard and pool. Poor Joanne is still in limbo as to her knee injury - her doc said meniscal tear; the MRI-tech said ACL tear. I am pretty sure MRI techs are not supposed to say such things to patients, and am hoping this is a case of the physical exam beating the technology. I mean, drawer tests are conclusive, right*? Anyways, more good thoughts Joanne's way, as ACL surgery plus taking care of a little one would be un-good. In the meantime, hope everyone has a good weekend. Stay inside. Watch some baseball! Cubs win today and a double header tomorrow - I can just feel this turning around**!

* - No, actually. But my case was weird - I had walked on an ACL-less leg for over a month before I had a drawer test, so my hamstrings had compensated by reacting violently to anterior tugs on the tibia. In Joanne's case, she was examined two or three days after it happened (plus she does not have mega-hammies like the Nyet). So unless she also has something weird going on, like she never had a left ACL in the first place (or she injured it long ago), it seems unlikely that a completely torn ACL would not cause a positive drawer test. That's what I'm hoping, anyways.

** - No, actually.

Friday, July 10, 2009

In an Effort at Counterbalance

If Tuesday was an unqualified "bad day" of Ultimate, let's counter with an unqualified good day:


Alright! Here's to a good scrimmage tomorrow. Wish me lunch!

I Wrote That?

I'm rereading a short story (50 pages, so not that short) I wrote a while back in my creative phase. I actively cracked up at the following line:

"Many of the younger dolphins exchanged what were, by definition, sideways glances."

I'm trying to think of a way to post this draft of a story, as it has a nice mix of good moments and terrible ones (it's hard to read your own work, and this story is, in retrospect, WAY too autobiographical - it's sprinkled with details that would only make sense to me, and I'm sure the average reader would be left wondering WTF? All aforementioned references to the value of obscurity aside, I really have no idea how to take it, other than to mention that there are moments that make me cringe and ones that make me smile). Anyways, it's way too long; maybe I'll try to split it up and post it piecemeal, if I get so motivated.

That's all. The story is named strat, if you exist outside of the population of three that caught it the first time around, and it involves me in Boston, the Red Sox, dolphins, and strat-o-matic. So far, anyways. I am, obviously, waiting for beck to get home, out of energy to continue my school reading for the day.

Speaking of Blogging About Dogs

The Dog Tails, all in one post. I expect approximately no one to read this:

Sparkle Conquers the Stairs

SD: I used to have a problem. I used to not be able to walk down stairs. I was terrified; Beck and Nate had to carry me down from the 2nd floor at our apartment in Austin so I could visit "Poop Island" at the complex.

WD: Poop Island ruled.

SD: So yeah, then Nate tried to train me, he would put me on the first step and have me come down, then put me on the second step and come down, then the third, etc.

WD: Whatever happened to poop island?

SD: I got all the way to the next to stop stair, but I couldn't get over the mental block - I couldn't move past the top stair. Nate would lift me and put me on the second to top stair, and then I could go down, but I just couldn't get off of that top stair. I would yap and yap and all the neighbors thought I was being kicked or something. That was kinda funny, actually.

WD: I mean, one day you're on poop island, the next you're in some place where it snows? What's up with that?

SD: Then one day when Nate came home, Wrigley ran out the front door at full speed. She knocked the lamp into the doorway, so when Nate went running after her and slammed the door shut, he hit the lamp and the door stayed open. Curious, I meandered outside and saw Nate catch Wrigley in the parking lot (we were little then; nowadays Wrigley can run WAY faster than Nate)

WD: Yeah, I'm pretty seriously fast now, I'm all ziggity zaggity.

SD: So then I thought, wouldn't it be funny if now was the time I picked to conquer my fear of the top stair? So I did, I ran down the stairs. it turned out to be pretty easy. And FUNNY! Nate was running around like a crazy man, trying to hold Wrigley like a football and catch me at the same time.

WD: Touchdown!

SD: Yeah, so eventually he caught me. But man was that hilarious. And I never had trouble with that top step again. Now, garbage bags, I still have some problems with those...

--------------------------------------

The Time Wrigley Caught a Squirrel

WD: One time I caught a squirrel. It was at our place in Arlington, the one with the treasure chest of shoes in the basement and the yard I always tore up. And it had a sweet widescreen TV, and a guy who came and put papers in one box and then gave us cookies. That place ruled. Anyways, yeah, I was hanging out by the bushes, I mean I was hunting by the bushes, when Sparkle scared the squirrel out of the bushes, and it was all bam, pow, and I was all, yeah, you can't get away from me, and it was all yeah I can, and then I pounced it, and then it tried to get away but I pounced it, it was sweet.

SD: Yeah, it was pretty sweet. So I was all grrrrr, yo, Wrigley, let me have that squirrel, I want it, and Wrigley was all no you can't have it, but then I was all grrrr, so Wrigley let go of the squirrel, and the squirrel ran away. So I was all damn, man, now no one gets a squirrel, and I really wanted a squirrel, but then Nate said "inside" so we went inside. Then we got cookies. It was sweet.

WD: Yeah, those were good times. I haven't been able to catch one since. But I caught one once. It was sweet. I mean, catching it was sweet. I didn't taste the squirrel, I just pounced it. Peanut Butter?

--------------------------------------

The Staite of Dog

WD: Stardate... stardate... um, Sparkle, what's the star date?

SD: The star to date is Jewel Staite. No doubt. She's cute, and she can fix an engine. I don't know what Simon was thinking.

WD: What are you talking about?

SD: What are yooooooouuuuu talking about?

WD: Um, anyways... stardate something or other, being a dog I really have no frame of reference here, but it sure does seem like a long time since we saw Poop Island.

SD: RIP Poop Island.

WD: Oh, Sparkle, don't say that!!! Anyways, every once in a while, we like to take a step back and note the status of things. You know, check out how everything's going. The State of Dog. It's not all eating, sleeping, walking, lounging on the couches and doing nose art on the windows, you know.

SD: Right - it's only 98% that.

WD: How true. Anyways, you may have noticed that I am doing most of the talking here. That is because after our fight in March, the owner-types decided that I am the dominant one.

SD: Grrrr...

WD: Quiet, you. The new arrangement is working nicely for me, as I get food and greetings and such first. Sparkle finally realizes that she is shorter and not as awesome as I am, which is also nice.

SD: Yo. It's not all about the dominance thing. The owners also started giving me extra magical peanut butter or hot dogs or wet dog food with dinner every night. It's awesome stuff; it has chilled me out to the MAX! I am low key and do not constantly walk around with that wigged out look on my face. Look how calm I am!!!

On the downside, my appetite is a little suppressed from all the magic - so I have lost some weight off my legendary tough-girl figure. But it's okay; nothing a little wet food and / or olive oil can't fix.

WD: Yes, I have to agree. Life is much nicer - we can sleep in bed together, hang out on the couch, play with the owner-types - and nothing even close to a fight in almost 3 months! Hooray! Wait, what? Did you say squirrel?

SD: No I did not. In other news, a dog AND a 2 year old moved in upstairs, but we barely even see them. And sometimes that dog barks (I hear he is a boy dog who still has his balls! Is that crazy or what, Wriggs?) but we just ignore him. We're much too classy for barking.

WD: Amen. In more other news, I almost got lost in the woods the other day. But I am such a good dog that I went back to the car and Beck did not realize this for 15 minutes! Ha! It was actually not that funny; I got in trouble. And Beck made Nyet sad because she called him and told him and he was sad. I will never run off by myself again.

SD: (Uncontrollable giggling).

WD: Oh yeah - I had a bad time the last time I went to the woods, too. The time before that, I mean. I stuck my face in something CRAZY - like a seven headed wasp robot - and it bited me on my nose. Be forewarned - this is kinda gross - but this is what I looked like two days after it happened, and it got worse and worse and worse! I had to eat extra magical peanut butter for like three weeks! And I had to wear the hat of shame!!!

(Picture removed because it was NASTY).

It's all better now, for the most part - but man, those were some rough days. But seriously, look how happy I am!!!

SD: So there you have it - the State of Dog. Better living through magic, I always say. We'll try and share some more Dog Tails soon.

Owners leave and re-enter the room. SD & WD pick up shoes, socks, and whatever else is available. Brains are reset.

WD: Stardate... stardate... um...

----------------------------------

The Scarist Halloween Costume Ever




WD: Today I decided to do a fun experiment! Halloween is almost upon us (Note: Dogs cannot tell time, let alone read calendars) and I need a really scary costume this year because people are always like "Wow, Sparkle is so Scary!" and "Wrigley is so Cute!" and I want to be scary.

SD: Dude, you are so not scary.

WD: I know. Anyways, what's scarier than dressing up as Sparkle's arch-nemesis, "Elkraps?"

SD: WHAT?!?! Where is Elkraps?!?!

WD: Dude, take a chill pill. No seriously, it's almost dinner time (Note: Again, this was written at 7:15 A.M.). I am just pretending to be Elkraps; don't try to kill me.

SD: Okay. This time.

WD: Anyways, so Beck took us to the woods, and I wanted to be Elkraps for Halloween so I thought now's my chance so I jumped into a big black mud puddle. And I writhed around in it. And now I look awesome! I look just like her!

SD: You so do not:


WD: Whatever dude, I am wicked scary.

SD: "Wicked?" We're from Texas, goofball!

WD: Anyways, our owners are WAY lame, and they wouldn't let me stay dressed as Elkraps. I had to get in the tub and take a bath which, just in case you're not a dog and you don't understand, is pretty much the worst thing ever.

SD: Amen.

WD: "Some" men, "a" man. Geez, Sparkle, where'd you go to school? Yeah, so we got baths, Sparkle did too 'cause she was kinda muddy, too, so then we looked like this:


SD: The moral of the story is man, stay away from the bath, it makes you look stoooooopid.

WD: And don't try to dress like Elkraps, because they'll just make you take a bath, and then you'll look stooooopid.

SD: Oh, but if they do make you take a bath, shake all over their clothes and get them all wet, because that is freaking hilarious!

WD: Some men to that, my sister.

------------------------------------

The State of Dog: January 2007 (Not that They Know That)

WTD: So yeah, I was hanging out with Nyet in the study and he was listening to the radio on his Command Control Station and the guy on the radio the guy on the radio was saying "tonight, W will deliver the State of the Union Adress" and I was like what's a union but then I was like oh no W that's me and I don't even have a speech written yet so I called my friend Sparkle and she agreed to help me.

STD: Dude, Breathe. And Punctutate. Seriously.

WTD: So yeah, first we read some online polls about what dogs wanted to hear about, but when we...

STD: You mean when I...

WTD: When Sparkle typed "State of Union opinions," all we got was a bunch of hits on ending partisan politics.

STD: (Wrigs, don't forget to start everything with my fellow dogs!)

WTD: Right, sorry. My fellow dogs, I am pleased to report that we have already got that ending partisan politics under control. Even though I am officially Alpha Dog and Sparkle knows her place..

STD: Dude, that is not on the prompter...

WTD: We have officially decided to get over our black and tan, our skinny and short differences...

STD: Mmmm, black and tan...

WTD: and work together to make a better house for us dogs. It is time to see past our differences and look to our goals, and as you may have noticed, we have not fought for over 10 months!

(Insert Thundering Standing Ovation Here)

WTD: My fellow dogs, once we came together and discussed the issues, we discovered that we actually both often take the same position! For example, on the heated issues of bed, sofa and futon, Sparkle and I are both in favor of the position of "lying on." When it comes to the issue of dog labor laws, we both agree on the idea of a 4 hour wake day! Sparkle, what is your position on Broccoli?

STD: I'm for it!

WTD: Me, too! And how about your position regarding snow and ice on the ground?

STD: It makes my butt cold when I pee! I'm against!

WTD: We're together on that one as well! Which is why we started the Global Warming Initiative. More like, "A Convenient Poop," Mr. Gore! HA! So Sparks, how about your position on Wrigley getting into the bed first?

STD: Grrrrrr...

WTD: Okay, bad example. But as you can see, my fellow dogs, our similarities far outweigh our differences. In fact, we were so excited about my leadership ability that we thought we may put our hat in the ring for the next human election in 2008!

STD: Yeah, not everybody knows that since Wrigley and I are sisters, WTD is technically half-black.

WTD: And I've been spayed, so I'm a bitch but not really completely a woman. So we thought I could run under the name...

Both: "Hilary Obama!"

WTD: Um, Sparkle? I don't get it.

STD: Wait... Hill Airy Oh Bama? Nope. Neither do I.

WTD: Anyways, the State of Dog is obviously doing just fine. We are pretty much lounging around and enjoying the occasional jaunt through the cold neighborhood. There is still no word on Poop Island, but we keep hoping that someday we may find our way home. Anything else, Sparks?

STD: From the Department of Apartmentland Security, we learn that there is still a dead skunk on the road, so we continue to sniff it every 11th day. We are also still at a greyish-black threat level regarding bicycles and other things on wheels entering the apartment, though we have deterred 100% of such attacks thus far. Oh, and squirrels are still annoying.

WTD: How about the DoSSSRS?

STD: Oh, the Department of Shoe, Slipper and Sock Relocation Services? Doing Just Fine.

WTD: True that. Okay, my fellow dogs: Good night, Dog bless, and remember, if you want your owners to feed you at 5:30 instead of 6:00, just be really annoying at 5:15 every single day. Thank You.

STD: Rub my belly.