Wednesday, November 11, 2009

By the pricking of my thumb...

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Something awesome this way comes - ladies and gents, your 2009 essay highlights. (Note that these are publicly available here, so it's not like I'm betraying anyone's privacy). Please take some time to really reflect on the grandeur at hand - some are funny because they're plainly wrong, whereas some have near-poetic constructions. Vote on your favorite! Enjoy, and be sure to read all the way to the end, as the last entry is my personal favorite.

Essay 1

"In this 21st century we live in, multifarious dire straights seem to embroil our world as we know it."

"Long ago before you and I were born and technology for the common sickness ceased to exist a hideous disease arose in the early 1300’s"

"Since the beginning, man has always wanted to be the best at everything."

"Millions of people have died from the flu and the fatality came from all different strains. The easiest solution of course would have been to kill off all the chickens and other birds.However, the money involved in this economy would simply not allow it. Also, one would have to include the entire animal rights activist."

"Sustainable energy is a concept that has aspects."

"Since humans have existed, they have been living off of energy to survive."

"The text filled with political figures and acronyms that are not properly introduced and to understand any references made one has to refer to footnotes or the index. "

"Beverages containing ethanol, namely tea and coffee, are also carcinogen enhancers."

"People are waiting on biological science to compose a cure for the deadly and heart breaking disease of HIV and AIDS and it is often said, 'I hope they find a cure soon'."

Essay 2

"The book, HIV/AIDS in Sports: Impact, Issues, and Challenges, addresses the HIV/AIDS issue in sports."

"A common disease that I recently discussed that requires its patients to experience daily use of vaccinations is diabetes"

"All organisms on this planet, whether they are eukaryotic (multicellular) ... "

" Dementia can then be really debilitating when AIDS is contracted, because it makes it harder for victims to walk and remember."

"The experiment conducted by cutting a gene out of one organism and joining it to a chromosome of another gene (38)"

"Smoking is one of the greatest causes of death. While smoking will not straight up kill you it is the leading cause of various sorts of diseases that will eventually kill the infected individual."

Essay 3 (Encyclopedic Entry)

"Sitting in traffic congestion, children’s Neurobehavioral functions have decrease in urban areas of China."

"According to Critical Condition by Barlett and Steele, health care is responsible for most deaths associated with disease."

"First, they prove that those without money are usually sick because poverty does not allow them to live in mediocre extremes."

"biology is an extremely broad branch of science that deals with a number of things."

"Anytime there is an introduction of a new law, especially in the field of biology and society, there is going to be a great level of application."

"Dietary intake is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle."

"Cancer is winning the war over heart disease which makes it the number one killer in the United States."

"Another theory is that cancer is a natural consequence of human evolution, and in order to combat cancer we would need to reproduce in a different way."

"Breast cancer is a cancer that originates in the breast."

"For humans, meat is tasty – no one would disagree with that."

"In countries such as Africa..."

"An earth without plants and animals would cease to exist."

"Only one disease throughout the centuries has been labeled as one which has killed more individuals than any other disease."

Last, and Yes, Least, the PAPER INTRO OF THE YEAR!

"According to the Encarta encyclopedia there are many different definitions for smoking. One definition is that smoke is a cloud of tiny particles. These particles are masses of tiny particles in the air that rises up from anything that is burning. Smoke can be from a cigarette or any other tobacco products. It can also be from anything that can be smoked. There can be vapors that resemble smoke. Vapors are something that resembles smoke. They usually contain minute particles that are suspended in a gas but they are not specifically considered smoke. Smoke can be something that obscures. It can obscure or obstruct (4). "

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