Sunday, April 23, 2006

EEEEEEYEDDDiot Rain.

Not a lot to report from the blogverse - rainy New England Sunday, so no Ultimate today, Spring Hat or Roid-wise. Boo-urns. Kate came over last night and we watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith which does not warrant reviewing. Oh, wait, here's the review. In one line:

Stupid. Entertaining. Unrealistic bad guy shooting ability. Stupid innuendo throughout. Angelina: Hot. Brad: "a little skinny."

That about covers it, actually. I will fully admit that Angelina Jolie merits all kinds of Nyet Jones seals of approval in the brunette dream girl department, so the entire flick had that going for it. But then I thought of the vial of blood of Billy's she used to wear around, and then I thought of Drusilla, and got weirded out by the amount of brunette vampire dream-girls I'm carrying in the catalog these days. So that was a definite minus. Plus, really, try as you might to avoid the magazines at the checkout line, you can't help but picture Jennifer Aniston going OCD, putting the sexy dance scenes from the DVD on repeat and doing her TaeBo or something while screaming obscenities. Actually, that may be the best part of the movie, imagining Jennifer "Oh, what's that honey? You have to stay late at work again? Just you and Angelina? Okay, I won't wait up." And beyond that, you kinda have to imagine Brad Pitt looking in the mirror every morning, winking and muttering something like "what up, playa?" as he looks down and sees Scarlett Johansen next on his checklist of world's hottest blonde / brunette / redhead.

So yes, like all great works of art, Mr. and Mrs. Smith can not be appreciated outside of its social and thoroughly important context. Now that the review is over, we can go about our lives in a non-Mark McGrath fashion.

But before that - my mom dropped this hilarious line on the phone a couple of days ago:

"I don't get it - why are Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise all over the news? They're idiots! Who cares about the baby? That happens a million times a day! That celebrity stuff is just garbage. So, did you see what happened on American Idol last night?"

Why, no. No I didn't.

Just kidding Mom - I just call 'em like I heard 'em. No offense intended. But you have to admit, that's quality stuff. Maybe not quite as quality as this line uttered by one of my Walnuts this week:

"Wait, hold on - is this word spellt right?"

Somewhere, Winona Ryder is saying, "I know it when I see it!!!!"

So yeah, another lazy Sunday afternoon and then back to the trigonometric trenches. Maybe someday, if someone reminds me, I will post the story about my Friday at work, which involved a significant amount of Schadenfreude-based comedy, but also resulted in my students being very appreciative of my efforts, which is always cool. I mean, I'm as big of a fan on struggling against the predictably unrewarding abyss as the next guy, but it doesn't mean I don't get my pathetically human heartstrings tugged when kids say thanks.

Oh, and in case you missed it on site news, I wrote a review of Blood on the Tracks which may or may not suck; pleaselet me know. I also started my novel The Posthumous Challenge this weekend and the intro definitely sucks, so i need to go to the outline board and hammer some stuff out before I go back to it. Will keep you posted. So to speak.

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