So Beck went hiking after work yesterday and, despite my repeated and rather rational requests for her to one, not hike after sunset and two, only hike on popular, well-marked trails anywhere close to sunset, picked a less-traveled path in Piestawa aka Squaw Park. To hike at sunset. So I called her at 7:30 when I hadn't heard from her, and she was indeed lost somewhere in Piestawa Park. This isn't really that bad; the mountain is smack in the middle of Phoenix, so it's not like she could *really* get lost. But she had lost the trail markers and found herself way off the beaten path. We talked over cell phones and I guided her back toward the highway and eventually to her car (thanks Zach and Google Maps!), but all told she went a solid hour plus out of her way and didn't get back to her parking spot until 8:40 or so. She saw a coyote in a neighborhood along the way, and she waited until after she got home to tell me that she had heard but not seen rattlesnakes in the underbrush. Well, that's just great. Everything's fine - we had a late night burrito dinner and watched some craptastic tv to cap the evening - but the experience was less than ideal, obviously moreso for her than for me. But sitting at home unable to do anything about a situation like that sucks - see: the time Beck called to tell me that Wrigley had run off in the woods. So let's review: don't go hiking by yourself on unfamiliar trails near or after sunset! Don't get eaten by coyotes or snakes or ROUSes. Please - there's only one Beck! No warranty!
In less death-rattle-induced-by-deadly-rattler news, I talked to Mike NTPB yesterday. In case I haven't mentioned it - and after a quick search of the Ballad, it seems I haven't - Mike has applied to and gotten into a number of the top law schools in the US of A. So after a great seven year teaching career, he's on to more lawyerly pursuits. Props to Mike! Huzzah. He is of course waiting to hear back from schools where he's been wait-listed - you know, places like Harvard and Stanford - so he's not entirely sure where he's headed. But he has gotten into places like NYU and Columbia, etc., so wherever he ends up, he's gold, Jerry, gold. I likened it yesterday to being told that the restaurant is out of porter house steak, so he'll have to settle for either the prime rib or the filet mignon. Everything's coming up Milhouse, in other words. Nice work, Mike! Way to be like... yourself! Seriously, Mike was born to lawyer, and I don't mean that in a "soul-less leech off of decent people" kinda way, I mean it in the hyper-intelligent, discursive genius with a flair for the courtroom dramatic kinda way. I am sure that whatever area of law he goes into, he will smoke it.
Mike also shared a heart-warming story about his high school, and given that I only blog the Truth, I pretty much have to recount it here. Mike told me of a student who "in his freshman year was a little weird. He dyed his hair; he was really into Irish fiddle. He didn't shower *every* day. Basically, kinda an outsider, and a little socially awkward." Mike then told me how this student had blossomed over his four years at school, to the point where he was a funny, well-liked, big man on campus type who had a decidedly positive presence at the school. The kid had grown into himself. No less weird, but now an outgoing, fun-loving weird. And the other day, at the school's talent show of sorts, this kid had jumped up on stage with a guitar and led the school through a funk-based goof song, having the time of his life and living it up. This caused Mike to get nostalgic and preface his story with quite the disclaimer:
"Now, not that you were weird or socially awkward, or that you smelled funny..."
Ha! But this kid had reminded Mike of the legendary The Bonnie Situation performance of Girlfriend, which Mike conceives of as my coming-out party. Awwww.... shucks. For those of you not in the know, The Bonnie Situation featured super-gal Caren VW on the bass, Aaron (Chris's bro, not mine) on an incredible lead guitar, Brian Baker on the drums and a young Nyet on rhythm guitar / lead vocals. Lead vocals! And we played Matthew Sweet's alterna-pop song Girlfriend, and we tore it up. There's a pretty significant instrumental break before the last verse / chorus of the song, and lacking anything better to do, Aaron and I did a little crazy Pulp-ficiton rip-off dance, and then I grabbed a drum-stick and assisted Brian on a drum solo. Wacky, chaotic, losing my mind style dancing and drum soloing, a la Animal had he (it?) been in front of the drumset instead of behind it. This was some pretty explicitly goofy behavior for a then reputedly straight-laced Nyet, and caught a lot of people off guard. As Mike put it, there's not a lot of distance between that Nyet and wedding Nyet, but there's a whole lot of distance between junior year and senior year versions. It was hella fun; I think we even won an award for it (Best Group Performance, or Most Awesome Craziness, I can't remember which). Fun times, definitely one of the better memories of my high school years. I slightly contest its conception as a coming-out party - I had engaged in my fair share of goofiness well before then (RHPS was a junior year phenomenon, and there was plenty of Nyetsanity in the Duke years), but Mike's probably right in terms of how it struck the Clark populace. I was a pretty externally-appearing conservative reticent type back in the day, that anarchic soul brewing beneath constantly. Not the punk-rebel I am today. So thanks, man, for bringing up the memories; I'm glad your current weird-become-cool students remind you of me.
(Post-script to the Bonnie Situation event, and there's no way I'll be able to properly render this - the Monday after this mayhem, I had to go into the football coaches' office to get a schedule change for the baseball season. And the only coach around was Coach Padron, a fairly conservative, Zed Ziegler-preaching guy who is fairly reminiscent of a football-coaching Ned Flanders. He had caught the show, LOVED it, and clearly had his mind blown by my antics. The conversation went something like, "Nyet Jones? Well, I NEVER. Clark tight end? Dancing, and hollerin', and carryin' on? What's the name of that band? The Bonnie Situation? Well, GOLLY. The Bonnie Situation! Heh heh! The BONNIE SITUATION!!! Well, I never. Gol-lee." Etc. Somehow I kept a straight face during this entire exchange. Classic).
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