Joke of the Week

I drink a lot of diet soda. Instead of coffee. It keeps me going. I mainly drink Diet Mountain Dew, but I also partake of a fair amount of Coke Zero. This is not merely my consumer whore data sheet; this is the set up for something. Be patient.

My officemate and super cool friend Jenny mocks me for this constantly. Her best one liner that sums it up: "Nyet, I worry about your insides." Before you go conceiving of Jenny as some kind of nice person, though, be warned that she is not always so. One time I saracastically, rhetorically asked, "What is wrong with me?," and she responded, "That's an existential question I can't answer for you." Ouch.

Getting back on track for the joke, Jenny and Andrew were going to get coffee and invited me along. But I had just grabbed 54 ounces of flavor country coke zero; I went along, but carried my Thirst Buster with me. Andrew quipped, "That stuff's going to kill you."

I replied, "Interestingly enough, do you know how to say 'Give me cancer!' in Spanish?"

"No, no I don't."

(Wait for it. Wait...)

"¡Aspartame!"


You have no idea how long I had been waiting to use that.