Note: not for the faint of heart. Some mildly offensive language / visual images. You've been warned.
Okay, form questions first.
1. Howdy member of the Nyetverse. What brought you to these parts (and by parts, I naturally mean the ill-defined faux-communicative space that is The Ballad of a Tin Man)?
Well i was googling myself and found my name mentioned several times here, and i was like, oh shit, my brother has a website?
(Ed: it's actually technically called a blogsite).
2. Many people look at life as a pencil with two eraser ends. If asked in, say, a gimmicky blog entry, what would you say is the point?
I look at it more like a sea urchin. Or a porcupine. Or somebody counting lots of things using their index finger.
3. Your area of professional pursuit is [insert profession here]. Given a scant 75 plus or minus years on this rock, how do you justify that?
It seems to me that my certain set of given circumstances has in some mild way pigeon-holed me into following the white upper-middle class standard – you get a job, house, family, contribute to society, etc. I don’t want to say something as over-simplifying as “you gotta do something”, BUT, you gotta do something. Theoretically, yeah, I could do whatever I wanted (live in the mountains, move to Europe be a barista, etc.), but, you know, white upper-middle class standard. Fortunately, in high school I stumbled on to something I really, really love doing and somehow I still really, really love doing it. The format isn’t exactly ideal – there’s drama (HA), politics, etc., but that’s gonna be there wherever you go. But you gotta make money, and I’ve been fortunate enough (*cough* white upper middle class) to have endless possibilities set out in front of me. I chose high school theatre teacher, in case you reading this have no idea who I am. In my case, the pros of my job far outweigh the cons. The cons are even kinda fun to turn into lessons sometimes, for myself or the students.
Phew. Alright, some Aaron-o-centric questions...
4. Obviously, you just had a rather ugly experience involving the UIL One Act Competitions. Now that you're a couple of weeks removed, what are your thoughts on the experience? What are you taking from this, positive or negative?
It sucked. It shouldn’t have happened, my kids were robbed of what should have been an awesome memory they’d have for the rest of their lives. Now it’s a crappy memory they’ll have for the rest of their lives.
Everyone loses UIL one act at one point or another except for one school each year. It’s a dumb system, it’s overly political (judges being friends with directors from one school, knowing their style and favoring them, it’s impossible to be objectively subjective, it happened when I was in high school it happens now). It’s a really great way to cause kids a lot of pain. I never realized it when I was in high school cause frankly we had an amazing director who was famous within the small community of high school theatre and it was awesome. There’s 60 some odd kids from other schools who never got to feel that each year, and that was just in our competition alone. They just get to feel failure, after at LEAST two months of very, very hard work.
At the time we did our best to have the kids learn from the experience, about character, about being good sports, etc…. but really what I’m (and a lot of the kids) are left with is a really sour taste. We tell ourselves “it was a great show, we grew a lot as actors”, which it was, and they did, but because of the nature of the competition, the fact that it IS a competition, I can’t help but feel like we lost the competition, because we did, and that sucks. Who won the super bowl this year? Who had a perfect season? Who’s still the loser? So we work and work and work on this play and it’s our best one yet and when it comes time to compete it gets screwed up. Or like when Robin Williams in Hook is really hungry and they’re about to serve him food and he’s like “hell yeah, food”, and they lift the trays and there’s nothing there and they all start “eating” and he’s like “huh?” It feels like that. And it’s not like I can “imagine we didn’t get disqualified” and suddenly everything’s awesome. And someone says “you’re doing it, Aaron!” and I call someone a “near-sighted gynecologist” and I “cut a coconut in half with a sword.” That doesn’t happen.
Now, in terms of the negative I’m taking from this. Hehe. But the positives… it’s an experience we all shared… that’s something. And we handled it relatively well. I learned that one's character is truly shown by how they react to really crappy situations. I think I did ok, if you ignore the small village of dead midgets next door.
5. Enlighten us with a tale of disc golf glory, but do it in the style of a round of Taboo. You are trying to get us to think "That's an awesome disc golf story!," but you can't use the words "drive," "putt," "hole," "basket" or "birdie" (and obviously you can't use the words "awesome," "disc" or "golf"). Good Luck.
So about a year and a half ago it rained for like a milli-century (think about it) and the courses were FLOODed. We went to Pease Park, my favorite course. 'Twas the most flooded course of all. I mean, the creeks that you usually could just walk across were literally up to your neck in water. We had to hold the dogs we had with us above our heads as we crossed. Awe- I mean fantastic.
You remember Happy Gilmore when Kevin Nealon tells Adam Sandler to send his ball to his “home” and when Adam Sandler misses his shot he’s all “go to your home! Are you too good for your home?!?!?!”
So we’re on “home” 11, and I’m about to do that thing when you get in a car and steer and accelerate and all that. This is my least favorite “home”, because I always throw into the creek, which is now raging at neck level. And of course I accelerate the car right into the creek. And by car I mean circular object which is reminiscent of the circular objects used in Ancient Grecian Olympics.
Now this is my favorite circular object which is reminiscent of the circular objects used in Ancient Grecian Olympics. So I strip down to my skivvies and jump in. The creek takes hold of me. I swim, dive, reach around for my circular object which is… oh whatever, swim, dive, search, swim dive search.
To no avail.
The thing is gone.
Here’s the glory of the story, if by glory you mean tragedy – that was the second time I had done that with that particular circular object which is reminiscent of the circular objects used in Ancient Grecian Olympics. The second time I jumped in a raging river looking for that exact … thing. The first time I found it. Just by randomly diving and rubbing my hand on the creek bed. And I came up with it and it was triumphant. But then I threw it away again, so I guess I was just trying to get rid of it. I went back looking for it once things had dried up… gone. Someone else has the cursed object.
To this day I refrain from accelerating any circular object which is reminiscent of the circular objects used in Ancient Grecian Olympics in to creek beds, I only accelerate them into the things you weave. And I don’t mean hair.
(Ed.: You threw it into a narrative? huh?)
6. You spend a lot of your time with what experts have dubbed "The Stupid Generation," aka people born after 1989. How have things changed since your days as a youth? What are some concrete idiosyncrasies of this group? Are you concerned, excited, or ostrich-heading w/r/t the future of humankind?
First I want to say – when I first read this question, I thought you were serious about the “stupid generation” thing and I asked my kids about it, and they had never heard of it, but they bought it. So now there’s several kids who think experts are calling them stupid.
Besides the obvious technological gaps (teenagers are all bionic and shit now!), I don’t think things have changed much, I think I’ve changed. They’re about the same as I was – thought I knew everything, overly emotional, experimenting with drugs, horny as hell, testing limits, boundaries, etc.
Concrete idiosyncrasies… the same as any group of people who are in a submissive position to someone in authority – they will find any way they can to get around rules, beat the system, because like anyone, they don’t like being told what they can and can’t do. Also laziness, because they’re not really held responsible for their actions. Not really. No Child Left Behind has made it to where adults are responsible for kids graduating from high school, not the kids themselves.
I’m concerned… I don’t think it’s going to come falling apart any time soon, but I also don’t see things getting any better. All I can do is educate the few who will listen, try to convince them why it’s important to be a good person like I hope I’m being.
7. There is rumor going around then you spend a fair amount of time watching various DVD series. Justify this, and give us , say, your top five DVD sets.
It’s funny you bring this up… I think I’ve watched all the TV worth watching out there. For now, anyway, until the new seasons come out. So I’m over it for now… I don’t really justify it, it’s what the rest of America does (mostly), they work during the day and stupefy themselves at night. It’s something to pass the time. Every now and again a show/series will elicit an emotional response from me, or get me to think about something, but mostly it’s like an expensive comfort blanket. Also every now and again I’ll use a Buffy the Vampire episode for a lesson, like the episode Hush where nobody can talk. I show that before our pantomime unit.
Ironically (I hope I’m using that word correctly) I don’t have cable because I want to save money, but I’ve spent easily a couple thousand on these DVD series. But I like them, I like being able to watch whatever I want when I want to, plus I really can’t stand commercials.
(Ed.: "Ironic" has, to the disdain of Nyets everywhere, come to mean "unexpected" in common parlance. But A-dog here is actually doing the opposite of what he intended, so it is legitimate, Miriam Webster irony. Ding Ding! We have a winner).
I don’t know your parameters for top five, so I’ll cover my bases.
1. Buffy (complete series)
2. Arrested Development (complete series)
3. Extras (complete series)
4. Angel (complete series)
5. Numbers (complete series)
1. Buffy season 5 (even though dawn sucks)
2. Buffy Season 2
3. Arrested Development season 1
4. Angel Season 2
5. The Wire Season 1
8. There's another rumor going around that you like you some of them video games. Give us a history of your video gaming, and share some of the best games you've played recently and/or best gaming experiences.
I started off on the Nintendo like any good suburban chap, playing the Mario brothers, zapping the ducks with grandpa. Competition started with you and me with the sports games, tecmo bowl, that basketball game with four teams, one of which was the frogs, and the like. I sucked at those and excelled at the action adventure games, like double dragon, ninja gaiden, legend of Zelda, etc. Then comes super Nintendo. My favorite memories of super Nintendo include:
1. Beating you every single time at street fighter 2. (Ed. Yep, pretty much.)
2. You beating me with your eyes closed in mortal combat. I still can’t believe that went down. (Ed.: This is obviously the most awesome thing that ever happened. I closed my eyes and mashed buttons furiously. And won two out of three. Against someone who is RIDICULOUSLY good at these one-on-one fighter games. Hilarious).
3. Renting a crappy fighting game that we beat in two hours and all we got at the end was crappy grammar: CONGRATULATION!!!
4. Playing all of our games the night before Christmas in preparation for the new games we’d get.
Then Playstation: that’s when I was introduced to the final fantasy games, which are by far my favorite video games, the best being final fantasy seven. I recently replayed X and it’s freakin sweet too. One of my best gaming experiences is when I was playing final fantasy ix, and I was toward the end of the game, I don’t exactly remember where but for the sake of the story let’s say I was in the factory room level B. Here’s the scenario:
I order pizza. Guy delivers pizza. I open door. Guy can’t see TV, just hears the music. Hands me my pizza, cocks ear towards the source of music, nods his head knowingly, says:
“Final Fantasy ix, huh? Factory room level B? Yeah, you’re gonna want to equip your materia suit.” Or something along those lines.
I say: “Thank you. And now here’s your tip,” and I hand him five dollars.
9. Inquiring minds need to know: what's up with not having a shower curtain? Seriously, WTF, dude?
I just never got around to getting one when I first moved in by myself, I came to enjoy the liberating openness of it all, figured out a good system for not getting water on the floor, and haven’t looked back since.
10. Perhaps in a targeted effort at shower-curtain remedy, cousin Paige recently moved in with you. How's Team Ellis Johnson (Austin Branch) doing, and did you ever think when you were younger that you would be kicking it with wee Paige?
It’s awesome. We’re definitely kindred spirits in a lot of ways. I did not think we’d be kicking it… I don’t think I got a real glimpse into paige’s personality until her sweet toast at jordan’s wedding. I really didn’t realize how funny she was. I always knew we were the youngest, and we shared a lot in common, and we were the ones who got in “trouble” growing up, more so than you and Jordan anyway, but I didn’t think we’d be living out. But then a few years ago we hung out socially, outside the realm of our family, and we got along really well, like we’d be good friends even if we weren’t related. Then someone got the idea of us moving in together, I think mom, and it just sounded like a good idea and it works perfectly.
11. Speaking of, you recently told me about some art parties that you guys are having on Wednesday evenings. Tell us a bit about those, and share some other stories of crazy house parties you've had in your time in Austin.
We didn’t have anything to do some Saturday afternoon, and we had all these projects about which there was ambitious talk/little action, so we decided to take some action. Went to hobby lobby, spent about 100 bucks, invited one friend over and went nuts: we had collected bottle caps for a few months and glued those to a table, tried to make some coasters (they failed), got some canvases and painted. We had so much fun we decided to make it a weekly event, now people are asking about it (“are we having arts and crafts this week???”) and we’re about a dozen strong.
Other house parties… the most notorious would have to be our “Cathedral for a While” parties. A couple years back I lived with some of my fraternity brothers, all of whom are very creative/intelligent, etc. We spent most of our time drinking and watching TV. Then one day in our stupor, one of us says “wait a minute… we have degrees. Let’s do something with them.” So we built a robot. We were not yet satiated. So we decided to throw a variety show, where we would have art (robot sculptures), variety acts including original scripts acted out (I played a character tragically named Tim Hitler, who meets and falls in love with a girl named Jodie Bin Laden), musical acts, stop motion photography videos, somebody made a harp out of a chair, a Rowdy Rivers Band, an opera singer, a dancing cigarette, poetry, performance art, short stories on flyers strewn about, a magical forest in the garage, then a beachscape with kiddie pools filled with water in the garage, a guy shooting a flaming bow and arrow at a britney spears mannequin, and of course kegs, lots and lots of kegs. We also aired a documentary (which I filmed) about our friend Tony who came in second at the Austin Air Guitar festival. Oh, and we invited Lewis Black to one of the parties when he was taking questions at this reading… his response was “well what kind of party is this? I don’t want to show up and there’s a bunch of 9 year olds everywhere.”
…he didn’t show up.
You can check out some of that stuff at cathedralforawhile.com
And the air guitar.
Those parties got huge, we had three and the last one we had about 150 people show up. Our neighbors were sad when we moved.
12. You play piano and guitar and do so largely by ear, meaning without a whole lot of training or lessons or what have you. What is your approach to music, and have you ever thought of recording the greatest concept album ever, "Blueberries?"
With what little training/ability I have, I play music mostly as an emotional outlet. It’s a pretty amazing feeling to have that much control over an object… you press or pluck this thing, it makes this sound, press or pluck another, it makes that sound. Then to take that control and let it go, and let the instrument speak, then you come back in control of it to make it do what you want, then let yourself go, etc. It relaxes me.
I’m not nearly good enough to hear a tune in my head and play it, but I do know enough scales and chords and have enough rhythm to where I can improvise some pretty decent tunes. I approach it definitely as more of a guess and check, see what sounds good, and if it sounds really good I remember it so I can play it later. I actually wrote the song for two very dear friends of mine’s first dance as a married couple at their reception.
And I’m down to lay down some tracks, so long as every single lyric is “blueberries” spoken in a loud, monty python-esque british accent.
13. So you teach the youngins a lot of dramatism, but you haven't hit the stage yourself in a while. Any plans to return to the spotlight? And what are you up to this summer?
I really really really want to get back on the stage. A lot of my job this year, especially towards the end what with the getting disqualified from UIL one act, has involved putting out proverbial fires, keeping people happy, blah blah blah and some of the fun of theatre (they’re called “plays” for a reason, you’re supposed to play!) has gone out of it. I’m looking into auditions, but the thing is I want to do really good theatre… that’s very rare to come by. So we will see.
This summer I plan on writing a lot – duet scenes, monologues, plays, because there is a huge shortage of high school appropriate material. I’m also going to like 40 weddings.
14. Speaking of teaching, you've made some references to a "five year plan." Besides the awesomeness of anything that could be remotely construed as a David Bowie reference (Five Years!), what's the rationale between that length of time? And what are the plans for beyond?
Three reasons:
1. That’s what Richard Hoag, my high school theatre director/mentor, advised me to do. He said generally people know for absolute sure after five years if they want to do it for another five or not.
2. Five years is when you can touch your retirement money that they force you to put away.
3. it gives me a chance to graduate one class that I’m with all the way from their freshman year, then see if I’m ready to do it all over again with another freshman class.
Beyond that, I have two legitimate options: Over the next two years, I hope to have $10,000 saved up. With that, I will either:
Use it to help get me started in a graduate program (MFA in acting and/or directing) and go back to teaching or any other opportunity that may or may not present itself,
OR
Quit teaching, move to central Austin, get a job at a waterloo records, free lance set construction, or some other day job, and every 3-6 months or so rent out a theatre space for a couple hundred and put on whatever plays I want with as much sex and cursing as I want,
OR
Just continue teaching and buy a badass watch.
15. Please, in iambic pentameter and/or free verse, explain your love of theater.
Whoo. I’m afraid I’m gonna have to go with free verse on this one.
It’s simple, really – theatre first brought out and to this day continues to bring out the best parts of who I am.
16. Music: it makes the people move together. What are some of your favorite styles, bands, artists, whatever you want to write about, and what do you look for in great music? Also, how do you think you arrived at your current musical tastes?
A little over a year and a half ago I went through a mild depression, for two reasons: I had just moved in by myself for the first time in my life, and my CD player was broken. I was forced to listen to shitty radio. It seriously pissed me off every single morning on the way to work, and I was in a bad mood for most of the time.
Good music (and I’ll do my best to define what good music is to me later) is crucial. It chills me out, it helps to enhance my mood whatever it may be (so long as it’s the right song at the right time), it’s cathartic, I can’t put my finger on it but it makes me happy.
I tend to enjoy songs (though it’s not limited to these examples) that have major key tonality, interesting/outside of the box progressions, lyrics that aren’t trite (I rarely notice lyrics unless they stand out as stupid ass lyrics), etc. The Arcade Fire, Vampire Weekend, Andrew Bird, and Sufjan Stevens are examples of people I like…
I don’t think I can sum up in a sentence or two what makes music “great”… but if I had to, I would say if the music itself somehow captures in a “truthful” way whatever it is the musician is trying to say, then I think it’s great. If that’s there, then it’s there for me, from Stravinsky to Led Zeppelin.
I dunno, what I like changes a lot, it really depends on the mood I’m in. The right song at the right time can help to make that moment whatever it is so much better. You know, that whole “sound track to your life” thing. Who likes a movie with a lame sound track? Crappy sound tracks make crappy lives even crappier.
I arrived at my musical tastes mostly through your influences, mainly – it started I think with either one of the mixes you made for me, or those CDs you burned for me that one time cause you accidentally yoinked the burner we both bought. That made me realize how much great music there is out there, I realized good music is great conversation fodder, it’s really fun to share new music with friends, and discover new bands, it’s this whole culture. I’ve tangent-ed off in my own direction, but my interest in music was inspired by your passion for it.
17. Okay, that's a lot. But here's more! In our conversations, you reference presumably beer-fueled ponderings of the meaning of life, the nature of god, and your conception of life as a series of challenges to be solved. What, in a format appropriate to a quick blog post, is your current running model. What is the logic behind the entity that is you?
Whoo. Why’d you have to save this one for last.
I just really appreciate life, my life in particular. My family, friends, job, talents, etc. My current running model is to not forget that/take that for granted.
The thing is though my current running model constantly changes… for instance, I don’t really consider it a series of challenges to be solved… that gives you like, a month or so of introspection, about 5 minutes of “ok, figured that out, but wait, what about this,” another two weeks of introspection, five minutes of “ok,” and so on. So while I’m still a work in progress, right now I’m trying to focus on being my best self, cause I think it’s good to put out positive vibes to the universe… I honestly don’t know man, trying to answer ‘what’s the logic behind my entity’ … you know I’m sure the whole zen concept of … well, you can’t metacognicize about it because that’s contradictory to the concept of zen? I think that’s what I’m working with now… something I’m noticing about myself lately is when I think about “problems” too much or what have you I get caught up in them and I don’t really enjoy life all that much, and considering we have 75 years or so on this rock, I just want to be good, I want to be right. Not as opposed to “wrong”, as in this black and white “you live wrong or you live right”, but you know, I want to live right.
Basically I think this question is too hard to answer in words, you just have to get to know me if you want to understand the logic behind the entity that is me. Maybe you can put it in words.
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